


seek me for comfort, call me for solace

by fragiledrug



Series: Memes [9]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Mind Meld, RP log, Sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 11:19:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/798122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fragiledrug/pseuds/fragiledrug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock returns to the <i>Enterprise</i> after a year of absence, having been called to temporarily aid in the establishment of New Vulcan. Things that were left unsaid finally get said, and feelings are recognized. (Hurt/Comfort meme)</p>
            </blockquote>





	seek me for comfort, call me for solace

**Author's Note:**

> Kirk (http://thetisfortenacious.dreamwidth.org) is mine, Spock (http://cdrfascinating.dreamwidth.org) is not.
> 
> EDIT 6/5/2013: Compressed everything into one chapter. Still not finished.

Spock: [The ending to this mission had been a long time coming. The time he spent away felt much longer than it actually was, despite Spock watching the calendar change and knowing that weeks were not in fact months even if he wished that were true. Still, it had been theorized that Starfleet could have made things much worse for him. They could have made this year long assignment to aid in the reestablishment of Vulcan permanent. However by then, Starfleet had predicted that everything would have been situated within that time and all detailed officers and enlisted would be sent back to their proper stations.

With the right budgeting and work pace, as exhausting as it was, they made the prediction true. And Spock couldn't have been any more thrilled, internally of course, as he counted down the days once they hit their twelfth month. The week leading up to their dismissal had been the most anticipated of all, little sleep being had. After all, the _Enterprise_ was his home too and he was going back. He wasn't surprised, however, that the first person he'd be encountering was Doctor McCoy. But with a quick scan, a few hypos to his shoulder and a heavy swat of a greeting over those injection sites, he was free to go see the others.

Scotty certainly was impressed; Spock had gotten a lot of color on New Vulcan, even though it mostly brought out the green in him. Uhura had been in the hall outside the transport room and she giggled at his hair, how it wasn't as neat and short as it usually was and the way his uniform fitted him oddly now. It was true, he was all of those things now but they could be waited to be dealt with; he needed to see Jim first. 

And since it was on the way to the bridge, he stopped by Kirk's room to check. Everyone else had been away from their stations after all. Hesitating for only a moment, Spock had to swallow the dryness in his throat before calling out;] Captain? Your presence is requested.

Kirk: [Kirk was indeed in his quarters at that time. He wasn't hiding, no, hiding was cowardly. He _was_ nervous, though. He knew precisely what day it was, having tortured himself by ticking off every day Spock was gone, tracking the weeks and months his First Officer was on New Vulcan instead of the Enterprise (which he understood; he was needed to aid his species and while Kirk had wanted to be selfish and tell the Admiralty there was no way in hell they were taking his XO, he wouldn't keep him from doing something so important). The year had gone by slowly and he'd felt off-kilter from the moment he'd watched Spock de-materialize on the transporter pad. The companionship he'd found in the Vulcan wasn't one that was easily replaced, or replaced at all, but after so long apart he had no idea where he stood with him.

So, when that call came, Kirk tried not to look too anxious, but he was pretty sure he failed even as he casually sauntered over to the door and let it slide open with a soft _swoosh_. Whatever he'd planned to say was lost the second he laid eyes on Spock and took in the new pallor of his skin, the unkempt state of his usually pristine hair. He stared for several seconds, unthinking, before a brilliant grin curved his mouth.]

Hey, Spock.

Spock: [It hadn't just been his appearance that had changed. What little grasp of being human, the things he'd learnt from mostly Jim, had been greatly subdued. Despite the number of humans recruited for aid on his mission, Spock had no connection with them as he did Kirk. Not to add he had been around other Vulcans who hadn't his same exposure. While the halfling knew this wasn't back to square one, he knew he had been pushed back a few places.

He didn't know where they stood either. When he had been forced to leave things between them were beginning to change for the better, he thought. Now with all this time away, well. Spock wasn't sure. What little time they had gotten to speak to one another was often brief and professional since it was hard for him to be alone. It strained him from the blond for quite awhile but seeing that grin and hearing his voice clearly, there wasn't a doubt that Spock was elated to be back.

So much so that he didn't know what to do with his hands. Not surprisingly enough, they found themselves tucked behind his back. A thoughtful nod came from him to the greeting.] Jim, [Despite words being adamant, there was a tenderness behind them.] My apologies regarding my appearance, I was inclined to greet everyone before attending to it.

Kirk: [The use of his name sent warmth cascading through Kirk, and he was positive he flushed. Over their brief, overly formal communiques, Spock had resorted to calling him _Captain_ — and that was fine, but he'd forgotten how his name sounded coming from the Vulcan, with his deep, rough baritone. Jesus. It was like he was crushing all over again. He'd half-hoped the time apart would give him some clarity regarding his less than appropriate feelings but it seemed it only made them stronger.

Realizing he was just standing there, Kirk stepped to the side, gesturing for Spock to come in.]

Don't worry about it. You look... different.

[The urge to touch his hair was nearly overwhelming. He'd never seen it any other way than perfect, even in times of distress. It was strangely appealing.]

Welcome back, by the way. The _Enterprise_ wasn't the same without you.

[ _I wasn't the same without you_ , Kirk added mentally.]

Spock: [A tilt of his head had entered the picture at the added color to his captain's face. Oh yes, he had noticed. Just as he had noticed there was a prolonged silence. It was far from uncomfortable, however, Spock was hardly decent at calling out such situations. His brow rose slightly as Kirk stepped away, nodding after a moment and stepping inside.]

It has been at the forefront of my mind since I have returned. [Which really hadn't been all that long, in the interim.] Despite my uniform the good doctor looked at me as though I were an uncultured individual, Lieutenant Commander Scott commented I have not looked more alien, a particular note made at my pigmentation, and Lieutenant Uhura laughed at my haircut. 

[With a sigh through his nose, Spock nodded in agreement.] I cannot disagree with their conclusions. [While he spoke Spock was looking over the room he hadn't seen in that entirely too long of a year. Oh, how he missed his place. There was a nostalgic gleam to his eyes as he turned back to Kirk, he smallest hint of a curl at his lips.] 

So I have heard. [He had been told briefly, after all. There wasn't much of an attempt made to stop the thought that perhaps it was Jim that wasn't the same without him present.] Thank you. I am relieved to be back. And you have my apologies, as I have not expressed this sooner under the circumstances; how have you been?

Kirk: [Kirk stepped away from the door enough so it would _swoosh_ closed, encasing them in privacy. He wandered in the direction of the replicator then, though his gaze kept trailing back to Spock, like if he looked away for too long the Vulcan would up and disappear on him.]

It's definitely... well, like I said, it's different.

[He shot Spock a soft grin.]

It's not a bad look, though. Especially the color. Is that the Vulcan equivalent of a tan?

[Idle chat while he programmed up two drinks; coffee for himself and tea he remembered Spock having expressed a preference for prior to his leave of absence. The second apology earns an amused huff.]

You don't have to keep apologizing. I've been —

[He paused. There was no point in lying. Anyone who had worked closely with the Captain of the _Enterprise_ the past year could have easily seen he wasn't on top of his game. The grin faded, softening into a warm smile as he grabbed the two cups from the replicator and set them on a small table.]

I've been okay. I'm better now that you're back.

Spock: [Dropping his head down some, Spock looked to his hands as he inspected them.] It is the half-Vulcan equivalent of a tan, yes. The other Vulcans were significantly more similar to our ancestors than I. [Their temporary coloring would fade with time as it did before, once they started building their cities back up.

The halfling doubted the lack of repulsion in regard to his new looks. Spock felt out of his skin about it, this was hardly professional. Well, his hair and uniform, anyway. Absolutely disgraceful. Yet Jim liked the color and then it was Spock's turn to feel a touch warmer.

He felt as though he needed to apologize as much as he did. Never would he have said such a thing in front of anyone else, or as frequently. There were many things Spock still thought about that he had wished he said while away and bringing them up now would have been strange, he thought.

Still, to see that change through Kirk's body and even on this thoughts, the gears changing noticeably in his head, confirmed his own thoughts and the words of others as he encountered them. It lit up his nerves with prickles that quickly went cold. Jim had missed him a great deal and it effected his work. Then again, Spock couldn't have said otherwise either. That said something, didn't it? How could he have even brought it up?

Eyes averted to the brewed drinks, a small flutter in his breath as he noted there was both coffee _and_ tea, before returning to Jim.] It is reassuring to hear. I can appreciate the statement as well.

Kirk: [It was at that point he gave in to his urge to touch, closing the distance between himself and Spock in order to reach up and skim the tips of his fingers through the longer fringe of Spock's bangs. He immediately dropped his hand afterward and tilted his head in the direction of the drinks.]

Sit down for a bit before you go get all pristine on me again?

[He hadn't meant it as a question, but the uncertainty he felt regarding their relationship lilted his voice, made it one anyway. He knew the very fact that Spock had come in, was still there should have made it clear, but... Kirk wasn't a very logical creature at times, far more ruled by his emotions.]

Spock: [While Spock had questioned the possibilities that could have resulted in this closeness, whatever the result, Spock did not resist it nor put up any sort of signal that discouraged it. In fact, the brunet dipped his head some for the other. He had mostly been expecting hands through the entirely of his hair and no matter the slight disappointment that hit him, he did not move as Jim touched his hair.

Remembering to breathe again, the Vulcan nodded.] Of course, Jim. I am in no rush.

[Calming his mind and stepping around Jim to grab their drinks, handing the coffee to its proper owner before sitting at one of the seats at the table. The question was odd though. Spock had thought his being here had been proof enough he didn't plan on leaving soon simply to make himself presentable. He supposed then perhaps it wasn't clear. And if that was true, he was going to prove otherwise.]

Kirk: [Kirk's grin returned at that, nerves settled by both the words and the display of sitting down. He accepted the cup and followed to sit across from Spock, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the edge of the table. He took a sip of his coffee, taking a moment to savor the bitterness of it before setting it down in front of himself with both hands curled around the warm cup.]

So things are going smoothly with the re-establishment? I mean, I gathered as much from the reports, but you were actually there.

[Not to say that Kirk didn't trust the Admiralty's view of things, but they did have a tendency to try to shine the best light on bad situations.]

Spock: [The Vulcan took his time in actually getting to his drink during that silence. It was undoubtedly replicated from his previous preference (hot, of course, with a splash of milk and touch of sugar), which was humbling on its own but especially so with the question raised to him. Still, Jim's words pulled him from further reminiscing about his mother, making him tilt his head as he looked to the blond.

He had actually read the reports. Granted, there was a spin on the occasionally dark accidents though they were fairly accurate for the most part.] In the first few months things were not as promising. I reported more causalities than preferred. [He muttered, looking to his drink with a lightly knitted brow.] 

But my father consoled me it would not be a reestablishment without such. There has been talk of a monument in honor of the fallen. [That was when Spock took his first sip.] However, now? Yes, things are going smoothly. Shelter has been built for all and communications are fully functional. The projection our aid brought has substantially heightened the probability New Vulcan will flourish in time. And with the further aid of Starfleet.

Kirk: [As Spock answered, Kirk began to toy with his cup, almost absently turning it back and forth.]

I heard about that. I'm sorry.

[He couldn't help the sympathetic pang his heart gave any time he'd read about one of the accidents and resulting causalities. He'd been there, after all, seen Vulcan be destroyed, had witnessed the looks of devastation on faces that were normally so unreadable — and then for _more_ tragedy to occur? They were already so limited in number. Without thinking, Kirk let go of his cup and reached across the table, fingers settling over one of Spock's hands.]

But I'm glad things are working out now.

[A brief pause.]

You know, if you're still needed...

[He let the suggestion trail off, glancing down at his coffee. Spock had said he was relieved to be back, and he'd originally chosen to serve as his First Officer instead of aiding his species, but it was entirely possible he'd changed his mind in his time on the new planet.]

Spock: [Spock shook his head to the condolences. Whether it was an accident or old age, their numbers were predicted to fall before they rose again. But there had been a Terran loss just as well. While Spock had been the only Vulcan on the side of Starfleet, serving as a liaison of sorts, nearly all the able bodies Vulcan had available helped the cause one way or another. So yes, Vulcans were lost but many humans had as well. He was about to explain the shake of his head, only to pause at Jim's hand on his.

Whatever words had wanted to be spoken before had disappeared, instead a new set that needed to be replied with. Apparently he'd taken his sweet time with that too because then Jim was implying he was possibly needed elsewhere and Spock found his tongue then, quite insistently at that.] No.

[He turned his hand over to grip Kirk's firmly before, again, shaking his head.] No, I am not. I have served my time to my people as requested by Starfleet. They are more than capable now to survive without my management. The remainder of my time is to be distributed here, on the _Enterprise_ and under your command. I have lost a years time upon this ship, Jim; it is not my intention to lose more.

Kirk: [The insistence had a smile forming before Kirk could stop it, selfishness flaring.]

Okay.

[It was a soothing intonation, meant more for himself than Spock. Considering the fact that they were already touching, and quite intimately at that, he took advantage of the moment, gently squeezing Spock's hand, his thumb rubbing along the outside edge of the Vulcan's palm.]

I assume Bones cleared you for duty? I mean, you don't need any rest?

Spock: [There wasn't a thing Spock could have done otherwise than be insistant that would have convinced Kirk of anything otherwise. He had meant what he said a year ago, he wouldn't have gone to New Vulcan had it not been mandated by Starfleet in the first place. After all, he'd been told he could be two places at once (though he hadn't seen a double of himself while away).

So leaving the Enterprise had been one of the hardest things he had done. Especially after realizing the potential he had with Kirk, leaving so much up in the air. Or so he thought. The caress in his palm seemed to note something else and it stole his thoughts again, only for a moment, as he opened his hand more and touched his fingertips to Jim's wrist.]

He did, after giving me the proper hyposprays. In spite of that, I do not require rest. I am however, as you say, humoring Doctor McCoy with his wish for myself to "take it easy" for the remainder of the day. I regain my duties as first officer in the morning.

Kirk: [The touch of Spock's fingertips against his wrist allowed the Vulcan to feel the stutter of his pulse as his heart tripped over itself, and as much as Kirk hoped the Vulcan wasn't aware of the trip, he knew at least some part of that incredibly compartmentalized, keen mind had observed and was breaking it down into possible causes and responses. He smirked at Spock's response regarding Bones.]

It's honestly easier to just humor him most of the time.

[At least until it was time for physicals, and then it was easier to run like hell or try to find a Jefferies tube to hide in.]

You've got Alpha shift then. It'll be our first shift back together.

[And for the first time in a year, Kirk didn't feel like being on bridge was going to be a chore or that he was just going through the motions. Sure, he adored the rest of his crew — they were easily the most competent, amazing crew a captain could ask for (and some of his closest friends) — but without Spock there at his side to both argue and confirm his orders, to serve as a stalwart, it wasn't the same. He _needed_ Spock... and that wasn't nearly as startling a revelation as it should have been.]

Spock: [Of course Spock had noticed, how couldn't he have? As quick and subtle as that trip of his pulse was, the hands that picked it up were sensitive. Really all he'd been doing was looking for a way to comfortably return the touches he was getting from Jim, not discover some sort of tell, although now his curiosity was piqued. Aside from a slight readjustment of his head as he looked to Kirk's hand, nothing else gave the halfing away as he continued his light touches.]

Perhaps for you but the good doctor only asked if I had a fever when I became accommodating.

[Nodding to Jim's reiteration, brown eyes glanced back up to blues with a blink at the addition that was his shift as well, and they couldn't have looked anymore lively. Perhaps unintentionally, Spock's ring finger stretched out to feather over Jim's veins on its way back to his wrist.] 

I look forward to it.

[It was something he craved on New Vulcan; a competitive yet friendly companionship. Something no one else had except for Jim when it concerned Spock. His father and the new High Command questioned him at every turn, giving him little room to breathe let alone explain how things were being done for the better, and it seemed no other human—other than to complain of another Vulcan's quips—wished to socialize with him. Which would have been understandable, had his fellow Vulcan's wanted anything to do with him either. Effectively, aside from the few brief chats he had with Kirk, Spock had been alone despite being surrounded by beings.]

Kirk: [That got a soft laugh from the blond. His own eyes were bright, reflecting a sudden, uncontainable mirth and energy he'd been lacking until then. Unintentional or not, the feather-light brush of Spock's ring finger drew up the barest shiver, skin prickling at the delicious but far too light contact. His heart tripped again, speeding up despite himself, and in an attempt at self distraction he lifted his cup one-handed and took another sip.]

Have you eaten yet? I could get us something.

[Spoken as he set the cup back down, the fingers of his other hand curling against Spock's palm. He had the urge to lace their fingers together... but as intimate as they were being, he feared that was a step too far.]

Spock: [To the light in those eyes, the laugh that hit his ears, a tug at his lips appeared for a few moments. Spock nearly couldn't believe how much more comfortable he found himself to be around Jim, as if it hadn't been a year since they saw each other last. And he could feel his pulse quickening, Jim had to have known he knew. They were both being so timid.]

I have not eaten in two days and find myself without appetite. In spite of that, if you have not eaten then I will join you. If not, I believe our time is better spent conversing.

[They needed to talk more, obviously. Though being raised a Vulcan, gifted with the ability to speak of anything without much of a hitch, he couldn't find the right way to bring up their particular situation. They hadn't cleared anything before he either left and maybe that was wasn't for the best. Taking another drink before focusing on their hands again, Spock pulled his away some so their fingers would hook together snugly, his thumb resting on Kirk's knuckles as he gave a light squeeze.]

If I am being too forward, Jim... [He trailed, bowing his head some.] If you are... attached, I will abstain from continuing.

Kirk: [Timid isn't a word that's normally used in reference to Kirk, but it was fitting enough then; they were tip-toeing around each other, like they were afraid the slightest wrong move would make the other run screaming (or, in Spock's case, briskly walking in tense silence). Yet neither had. They were still seated, comfortable with their hands clasped — but then Spock shifted, making it so their fingers hooked together, thumb resting over his knuckles and Kirk's skin prickled again. He'd had something to say, but for the life of him he couldn't remember what it was. Spock's trailing words left him staring at the Vulcan, mind momentarily stalled by a combination of confusion and surprise.

Attached? Was he really asking...? The realization of what Spock was asking, albeit in a rather roundabout way, was almost enough to make him grin but he managed to subdue his expression into a fond smile.]

I am attached...

[A pause as he returned the squeeze.]

But I don't think the _Enterprise_ minds sharing me and I sure as hell don't want you to abstain.

Spock: [Yes, yes he was asking. Why wouldn't he? If he were over stepping a line, he would have apologized for his actions. It had been a year, things could have easily changed while he was away and he knew that. The question wasn't aimed to judge the blond in any way, Spock simply needed to know. That was why he had been timid. And roundabout as his question was it got them going in the right direction. Even if Jim's initial words cause the brunet to look up sharply, holding his breath while his heart tumbled over itself. Those were the last words he wanted to hear and—oh.

 _Oh._ A twitch of his brow happened then, along with a slight turn of his head and squint of his eyes; the closest thing to a 'I see what you did there' face Kirk would get from the halfling. But it lasted only a fraction of a second before ran his tumb over Jim's fingers as a distraction.]

While I was away, a day could not pass without my thoughts returning to you. 

[He'd missed Jim. He missed him quite a bit and he couldn't think of another way to have said it without actually saying those words or sounding entirely mawkish. Not that saying he always thought of him wasn't but it was true nonetheless.]

Kirk: [He caught that sharp look up, the way Spock's expression changed, albeit subtly, and Kirk laughed, recognizing the look on his face for what it was. He did enjoy teasing his First Officer. The laughter faded quickly, though, amusement dimming in the wake of a rush of affection, of muted heat at the Vulcan's confession. Mawkish as it was, he felt the same way, but hearing Spock actually say those words banished the last of his doubts and reservations.]

I thought about you every day too. God, I thought I was going to go crazy. I'd get so excited when you called, it took everything I had not to jump up and down and make a fool of myself.

Spock: [Of all the things to tease about, the one thing that really kept Spock all wrapped up, and it had to be this? It couldn't have been his hair, or his 'tan', it had to be the thing Vulcans weren't supposed to feel let alone express? ... It was Jim's way, he knew. Spock also knew he had't meant anything by it other than to tease him. No matter the mini heart attack, he isn't caught up on it. If anything it feels more like an initiation back.

Jim word's near make Spock light as air, a heat radiating through his core. Then he realizes there's a shiver about him, faint, hardly noticeable but in paranoia he switches their hands again, this time to entwine their fingers. It was an odd sensation. He hadn't touched Jim's hand like this before.]

Between contacting Starfleet, having a signal strong enough to reach you and having the time to do so... I wanted to call more frequently than I did. Much more. They were the one thing that prevented me from... [Insanity, was a good word. Though loneliness was also very fitting.] They allowed me to endure my time away. I cherished them just as well. [A fool he couldn't be when Jim picked up, but a fool he felt.]

Kirk: [The grin that split his features when Spock entwined their fingers was blinding. Kirk took a moment to let Spock's words wash through him, then he was standing, tugging Spock up and stepping around the table, which suddenly felt like an obstacle between them, to get closer to the Vulcan.]

We're both idiots. I should have been in the transporter room when you got beamed back aboard. I should have just told you I missed you. And I should have done this before you left —

[And then he was dragging Spock down, free hand curling along the back of his neck as he boldly pressed his lips against Spock's.]

Spock: [It was an awkward stance as he was pulled up from his seat, attempting to put his tea down on the table but he managed. A slow breath finding him as they found themselves closer again, Spock's hand gently squeezed Jim. Right before an eyebrow rose swiftly. _Idiots?_

Perhaps they had been apprehensive about this, and appropriately so, but he didn't believe they had been—ah, lower, he needed to be lower. His knees bent to accommodate the tug down, a small noise slipping from him at the kiss. ...Perhaps they had been a touch foolish. 

Spock leaned into the kiss, his other hand easing up Jim's neck to cup his jaw. Pulling away from his lips a few moments later while his thumb brushed over the blond's cheekbone, his voice dropped a few octaves.] If that had been your farewell I would have disobeyed my orders.

Kirk: [The deepness of Spock's voice made Kirk shiver, and he groaned in response to the words. A year of frustration, all because he hadn't gone with his first instinct and kissed Spock back then. Then again, he couldn't have had his First Officer disobeying orders, even ones that weren't from him, and maybe the wait was worth the reward. No, not maybe. The wait was _definitely_ worth the reward, a reward he intended to get as much of as he could. Leaning in, he stole Spock's lips again, kissing the Vulcan infinitely more surely, passionately.]

Spock: [In all honesty, as powerful as a hold Jim had over him, he would have only delayed those orders for a short time. The uncertainty of the colonization of New Vulcan gave him reserves about it, meanwhile it felt at ease on the _Enterprise_. And something new was flourishing with Jim. The last thing he wanted to do was leave amidst that. So his second kiss was more than welcome, the halfling doing his best to return it as he was a year out of practice. He even stood back up and to compensate for the difference in height, Spock pressed himself against Jim, letting go of his hand to help coax and tilt his captain's head back.]

Kirk: [A year out of practice or not, _damn_. Kirk latched on to Spock, easily coaxed into tilting his head back (and it probably should have been weird to kiss someone who was nearly an inch taller than himself but it wasn't) in a way that let their mouths slide together more easily. The fingers of the hand at Spock's nape slid into his hair, dragging through the inky strands, blunt nails gently grazing his scalp as they kissed.

When he had to pull back for air, he arched up to brush their noses together in an almost ridiculously sappy gesture.]

You know, this isn't conversing.

Spock: [The fingers in his hair, the way those nails skimmed over his scalp, and the relative coolness of Jim's body flush against his—they pulled a low moan from Spock as he slowed the kiss. He didn't want it to stop, not even for air, and it showed when another small grunt fell from him as Kirk parted from him. And with an agreeing huff he nudged his nose back against the one below his.]

No it is not. However, I do not mind. ...Though, either way this leads us, I should shower before we continue. I am leaving dirt everywhere I go. 

[While that wasn't a lot in Jim's room, compared to his entire room, there was a fine film of red dust everywhere he went. Undoubtedly he left a trail from the transport room too. He slipped a hand down to feel Jim's bright uniform, over his chest. There was some on him too.]

Kirk: [That moan twisted his gut in delicious ways, and Kirk found himself pressing even closer to Spock, completely uncaring of the fact that he was getting dirty. He hadn't even noticed, not really, until Spock said as much, and then the only response he could offer was a shrug.]

I lived in Iowa, Spock. Dirt storms. Farm work. Enough said.

[Keeping his arms linked over Spock's shoulders, he took a step back, obviously expecting the other to follow him.]

Sonic or water?

Spock: [Hilariously enough, Spock cared. Growing up on Vulcan meant dust storms too and he hadn't mind it until he started at the Academy where he noticed how clean everyone was in comparison. Even if it was a little dirt and dust, he nodded to Jim's words in understanding.]

Enough indeed. [And with arms curled snugly around his neck, what choice did he have? Dropping his arms to Kirk's waist he followed, careful not to stumble.]

Selfishly? Water.

Kirk: [Kirk shot another of those brilliant grins up at the Vulcan, rather amused that he hadn't seemed to get what he was hinting at. Oh well. He'd get it eventually. He continued to walk back slowly, step after careful step, until his back hit the bathroom door. At that point, he seemed to hesitate, but Spock was a solid presence against his front, his arms around his waist, and that was enough to bolster his confidence. With a mischievous gleam in blue eyes, he reached back and hit the switch that opened the door.]

Spock: [Oh, he knew. After a moment or two, when he realized Jim was realizing him. And now he thought himself silly for not noticing sooner. It was _Jim_ , after all. Spock should have known something was up. He gave a half glance where they were heading but kept calm when he looked back to those rascally eyes, hands gently gripping at Kirk's sides. They wrapped to the small of his back as the door opened to prevent them from tumbling into the bathroom, a small curl of his lips hitting him.]

I prefer my showers hotter than you are accustomed to.

Kirk: [So he did get it. The warning combined with that small curl of lips had Kirk lifting up to brush their mouths together again, tongue sneaking out briefly to trace his bottom lip with a teasing stroke of wet heat.]

How do you know how hot I take my showers?

[A rhetorical, jesting question. In all honesty Kirk tended to take showers that would have scalded most people (when he didn't take a cold one to douse his damn libido, anyway). He attempted to disengage himself from Spock then, hands sliding from his shoulders down his chest, still uncaring of the dirt that coated his uniform.]

Spock: [And tease him again he did. Spock had opened his mouth to what he thought was an invitation, remembering what that kiss meant, only to close it with an audible click of his teeth. Such a tease. A brow to the question given to him, a light nod accompanying it after. He didn't know, that was true. Jim was possibly the only one he would ever consider taking a colder-to-him shower for. Or with, rather.

To the attempt to distance himself from Spock, the beginning to anyway, deep browns fell down to watch as hands worked under Jim's gold shirt before lifting it up some. That was when he looked back up to those blues, his lower brow joining the other in its raised position. Though he'd only lifted Kirk's shirt half up his abdomen, he was asking if it was alright to continue. After all he didn't know if he would mind.]

Kirk: [When Spock's hands worked underneath his shirt, he inhaled sharply, not quite having expected that from the usually reserved Vulcan. It was surprising in the best way, and at the pointed but silent question he raised his arms to aid Spock in more easily pulling his shirt the rest of the way off.]

Spock: [It was just his command golds. Not his black undershirt. It was bold though, yes, he wanted to throw Jim off a touch. Spock was happy to see he did too, judging by that hiss of a breath and compliance of his arms. Gathering the fabric in his fingers, he slowly lifted it up and over Jim's head, letting it peel off his arms before gently folding it and tossing it to the laundry.

Then without another word, Spock's hands on Jim's hips, the halfling gently urged them into the bathroom opposed to the doorway, giving the blond sultry sort of kiss as he did. He could only hope, as eager as he was being, that he wasn't coming across as too dominating. A spark lit inside of him, something Jim ignited, and the first officer wanted to show his captain how much he missed him.]

Kirk: [He was definitely thrown, but it was good. Kirk needed to be put off-balance every now and then. He watched as Spock diligently folded the command gold overshirt before tossing it to the laundry, and then he was back on him with the sort of kiss that made him think he might melt into the floor. He was easily urged back into their shared bathroom, the door closing once they were well enough out of the way. Kirk's own hands slid beneath Spock's uniform to push it up the same way he had done.]

Spock: [Not long after they'd gotten into the bathroom did that heavy kiss die down some, breaking up into smaller but no less passionate ones. And at feeling Jim's hands sliding under his shirt, a small, near inaudible purr come from Spock—though with how close they were, Kirk probably heard a hint of it. With one last press of their lips he stepped back and lifted his arms for the blonde, leaning over some.]

Kirk: [He did hear, and though he wanted to question, Spock was stepping back and lifting his arms in a clear hint. Kirk took the hint, pulling the science blue overshirt up and over his head. A chuckle escaped him at the way Spock's hair stood up after and he reached out to run his fingers through it before tossing the shirt in the laundry with his own.]

It's a shame you're going to cut your hair. It's kind of sexy like this.

Spock: [He could hear the static build up and crackle in his hair as Jim pulled his shirt over his head and while the other couldn't see, Spock rolled his eyes. _This hair._ This long, ridiculous... well, it wasn't just his hair, he was sure. A planet he'd been on for a year and the Enterprise were two different atmospheres. Then again it was mostly his hair. A light sigh left him as he leaned into Kirk's hands, a brow sharply raising at the "kind of" statement.]

Is it the length or disorder of layers that you find tantalizing? 

[Spock compromising? No, never. It was just a question.]

Kirk: [He put on his best 'thoughtful' face as he touched Spock's hair again, clearly taking advantage of the opportunity to touch without having to ask.]

Mmm. Both? I mean, the length is definitely sexy. The disorder of layers, as you put it, is sexy too, but shorter I'm not sure it'd work.

[Smirking, he stole another quick kiss before he drew back and peeled his own undershirt off, grabbing it at the bottom and dragging it up over his head in a single, smooth motion. There was a spattering of faded bruises he'd (somehow, probably through sheer luck) managed to keep from McCoy along his left hip from their last mission prior to returning to New Vulcan to collect Spock. Otherwise it was lean, golden skin, and Kirk pointedly stretched as he tossed the undershirt into the laundry as well.]

Spock: [A soft look fell on Spock's face when fingers carded through his hair again, his brow returning to its relaxed and graceful slope while his hair was inspected, the halfling taking in every detail of Jim's face. And though he heard the opinion well, Spock seemed a little distracted; slow to give that peckish kiss back.] 

Vulcans once kept their hair long. [Even his hair had been longer when he was a child, before he started his schooling.

Unlike Kirk, he moved toward the door and removed his shoes first. Socks were hardly off and discarded before skin caught his eye, making the brunet stand and turn towards Jim. While Spock certainly enjoyed the show of that golden skin, keeping any enjoyment off his face and to himself of course, he couldn't help how his eyes drew back to the discolored spots that littered over Jim's hip. Almost immediately there was a bubbling of protectiveness in his gut even if they were just bruises and the danger was gone. Why hadn't he been healed?

Quietly padding over to his captain, the outside of his left hand delicately brushed over those spots when it was close enough. Although his front wasn't pressed to Jim's back, Spock was certainly close enough to lean and tilt his head over Kirk's shoulder.] What happened?

Kirk: [That had Kirk pausing, obviously interested in the Vulcan's statement.]

I assume that was prior to the whole logic-over-emotions reform?

[Because clearly having long hair wasn't logical. Sexy as hell, though. His thoughts on that were derailed by the sudden closeness, and Kirk glanced down at Spock's hand where it brushed over the faded bruises.]

Oh.

[He'd nearly forgotten the incident but it came back razor sharp. Kirk grabbed Spock's arm, pulling it across his lower stomach as he leaned back enough to close the scant distance between them.]

It's nothing. I got thrown against some rocks.

[Tilting his head back until it rested against Spock's shoulder, he gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile.]

Doesn't even hurt anymore.

Spock: [Having long hair _wasn't_ logical. It took time to manage, it got messy and tangled quickly and braids made it wavy and gave it unmanageable volume. Nevertheless, Spock nodded to the query.]

Even after; for a time it did not catch on. Mainly warriors and the elders kept their hair long in honor of our heritage and in braids for manageability. However, eventually, it was seen as a symbol of reform and many converted.

[Once he was settled against, Spock leaned into it just as well as his hand was pulled across the tautness of Jim's lower abdomen. It was nice, especially as he hooked his hand on the blond's side while he was verbally reassured along with that smile. He nodded, raising his free hand to rub over Kirk's right shoulder.] 

That is fortunate to hear. Not that you were thrown, [He lead with a quick rise of his eyebrows.] but that you are no longer in pain. Did you sustain any severe wounds in my absence? [The question was soft, worrying, even though it was obvious Jim was fine now. They hadn't discussed such things when they called and Spock had honestly felt guilty.]

Kirk: Warriors. I still find it hard to believe your species were ever warriors.

[The quip was light, teasing, and he sighed when Spock hooked his hand along his side, locking them together like two pieces of a puzzle. And Kirk realized, with no small sense of irony, that was exactly what they were. They fit perfectly within each other's lives, despite being so different — but also, perhaps, because they were also very much the same.

He gave a small shake of his head at the question, but not to indicate he hadn't been severely injured.]

A few. Do you really want to know about them right now?

[Twisting in Spock's hold, he shifted until he was facing the Vulcan. His hands sneaked beneath the fabric of his undershirt to smooth out over the warm, smooth skin of his abdomen.]

Spock: [A soft hum came from Spock then at the comment.] We still are a very passionate species. No longer warriors of paranoia and rage... per se, [Never forget the time his rage took him on the bridge, at Kirk's persistance, when he was acting captain.] but of knowledge.

[And some of them of love, though that was something they would never admit to anyone unless under complete duress. Or to their t'hy'la in private. Their love wasn't something to parade around for others to see, it was a private, intimate matter. It was something, as far as everyone else was concerned, that Vulcans didn't comprehend at all. And though it took time, Spock was more than willing to show that side to Jim. In fact after a time, it was very hard for him not to want to show him. It still brought him shiver to think that Jim was _his_ t'hy'la.

His head lifted and arms loosened temporarily for Kirk to turn around, Spock shaking his head to reply before pushing their foreheads together and bumping their noses again.] It is not necessary. We have the rest of the evening to discuss events that have passed.

[His breath hitched lightly at the contact of smooth skin on... well, mostly smooth skin. There were light scars, atrophic, sunken scars, that stretched over his navel at an angle. Apart of why he'd felt guilty about not knowing Jim's wounds; this was a wound that nearly took him from the blond. But like he'd said, there would be time to swap war stories later.]

Kirk: I know.

[He'd melded with Spock, after all, albeit a very different, older version. He'd felt everything the elder Vulcan had felt; sorrow, guilt, love, all so unending and encompassing he almost couldn't breathe through the unexpected torrent of them. He'd also felt his own Spock's rage through the hand that had closed over his throat, trying to choke him into oblivion, seen the horror pass through his eyes when he realized he'd nearly killed Kirk. It was long forgiven, but he remembered, and kept the memory close as a reminder of a less than stellar beginning that had become so much more than he'd ever let himself hope for.

Kirk's lips twitched at the subtle hitch of breath, though then he seemed to feel those scars as his fingertips brushed over Spock's navel and he pushed the undershirt up enough to be able to see the marred flesh. Without a word, Kirk abruptly dropped to his knees and leaned in to trace the scarring with the tip of his tongue, dipping into the depression of his navel along the way.]

Spock: [It was something one would have thought Spock would remember, Jim having already been apart of a mind meld. Even then, it wasn't exactly him that did so with Jim. In fact there were every few melds Spock had even preformed in his young life and he was ever so slightly jealous they hadn't yet. Then again, there was no reason for them to have and if he could avoid an unnecessary one simply for the sake of doing it, then he would. If Jim could understand the reasons and feelings he'd gone through for his past transgressions, as contrite as he still wholly felt, it only made them stronger.

A pang of concern rang through him as Jim fell to his knees only for him to realize everything was fine when a hot tongue hit one of the four scars. They weren't new, more than six months old now, but Spock hadn't given them any more attention before other than to provide care. So they were rather sensitive. The tracing, no matter how the Vulcan readied his mind or leaned back to stretch his muscle, caused his flesh to twitch—it tickled him and it felt good. Perhaps not arousing but it certainly gave him a thrill, his stomach twisting in a surprisingly sensational way.

And when curling his toes against the floor wouldn't curb that feeling, he finally lifted his hands to brush at blond hair. They were light touches at first before fingers buried themselves in those light locks, the pads avoiding most contact and leaving his nails and sides of fingers to drag along Jim's scalp. A particularly strong flinch came over him at the warmth that dipped into his navel—a delightful shade of green donning his cheeks too—though not one to discourage any continuance. This was all nerves running through Spock and he wasn't sure how to categorize it all, hence the way he played in Jim's hair, why he was staying so still for him.]

Kirk: [He couldn't count the times he'd wanted to ask Spock, his Spock, to meld with him on any number of limbs he possessed. He never did, though, kept the question buried despite the desire to feel if the younger's mind was an echo of the elder's, to feel so intimately connected to someone else, the only person he _wanted_ to feel intimately connected to.

The twitch of muscle beneath his tongue had him gazing up at Spock through half-lidded eyes gone dark with something that wasn't quite desire but was at the same time and when Spock's hands fell to his head, sinking into the blond-tinted strands, he continued to lick, tracing over all four scars. Each trace was coupled with his tongue dipping into the Vulcan's navel. At one point his hands moved to Spock's hips, thumbs rubbing over the twin juts of bone he discovered there almost reverently.]

Spock: [Well then, perhaps tonight would be a proper time for them to finally meld. With all their time apart it was an oppertune time as any to use it. Spock had simply refrained because while he knew that they cared for one another, the two were nearly inseparable on the ship. There wasn't a day that passed where they didn't know what happened to the other. He certainly wouldn't have been opposed to becoming more intimately bonded to Jim.

Alright, so, maybe having Kirk's tongue lapping at his stomach was a bit more provoking that he previously thought. Watching also gave him a rush, when their eyes locked, a jolt of heat rushing up his spine. But he could hardly see the rest of Jim’s face over his bundled shirt. With one last drag of his nails, Spock lifted his arms to grab at the back of his undershirt and swiftly tugged it over his head before discarding it with the rest of their clothing. Again, his hair was static filled and he smoothed his hair back, not minding where it fell, and then he was back to looking at Kirk, those dark eyes, stroking the backs of his hands over the blond's forehead.

The fingers on his hips paired with the tongue still dropping into his umbilicus only caused Spock to squirm and he was doing his best to control that and his twitches. His chest was rising and falling impressively as proof, his skin covered in gooseflesh too.] Tactile though I know you are... I did not know the same applied to your mouth. 

[That was what was twisting him the most right now though having Jim on his knees like that, so low on him, was definitely a factor just as well.]

Kirk: I have a well-hidden oral fixation.

[His breath was hot against's Spock stomach as he spoke, gaze still locked on the Vulcan above him. He watched intently as he shucked his undershirt, leaving his top half as bare as Kirk's. He briefly leaned into the touch of Spock's hand where it stroked over his forehead before his tongue flicked out again, this time with the intention of provoking more of a response than what he was already getting. He knew precisely how he looked down on his knees in front of Spock, and he let his eyes darken with heat, with longing.]

Spock: [Oh my. If ever had a brow so quickly been raised it was now. Deep browns dilated then too as, rather uncharacteristically but certainly befitting the moment, Spock licked and worried his lower lip after the confession. It had been subtle enough until that provocative lashing pulled a growl from him, caught in his throat, and his entire upper body flinched in anticipation.

A hand dropped from his forehead after, traveling down to Jim's neck to snake up to his chin, his thumb reaching up to feather over his captain's lips.] Perhaps so. Was this your intention?

Kirk: [Kirk caught the way the Vulcan licked and worried his lower lip, and the sight made heat curl low in his abdomen, aftershocks skittering out through his limbs at the anticipatory flinch. When Spock dropped his hand and feathered his thumb over his lips, he parted his mouth, the tip of his tongue darting out to graze the pad of the digit before he spoke, ensuring his lips brushed skin as he did so.]

Was this my intention to _what_ , exactly, Spock?

Spock: [With a seemingly perplexed furrow of his brow, twitching curl of his lips and fractionally tilted head, Spock caught on to that question. He wanted him to say it, didn't he? Caressing those warm lips once more with his thumb, Spock pressed his palm under Jim's chin to let the tip of his middle finger take its place as his free hand moved to tease blond hairs.]

To fullfil your craving for an oral fixation, of course.

Kirk: [Of course he wanted him to say it. If he could get Spock to admit things out loud, he would go out of his way to do so. His eyes sparked with mischief when Spock did say it out loud, but the only audible response he gave was a low hum, followed by a second parting of his lips as if in invitation.]

Spock: [A huff came from Spock at the flickering in his eyes, his own a humble mimic, his back straightening as Jim opened his mouth to him.] As you like, Jim. 

[His hands withdrew from Kirk then to smoothly unfasten his belt, a thing he never needed before but the only thing now keeping his pants up, before long fingers swept over the hook and eye closure to unfasten them. A gentle nudging of the zipper's slider body with his ring finger unlaced the teeth quickly, giving only a glimpse of his boxer briefs. Spock reached to take Jim's hands in his then to help push down his undergarments and ill-fitting pants, not taking much before semi-proud flesh made itself known.

Regardless if his pants fell or not, the halfling reached out to touch the shells of Kirk's ears and spoke quietly;] Go on.

Kirk: [In truth he hadn't expected Spock to act in such a brazen manner, so when the Vulcan unfastened his belt, unzipped his pants and grabbed Kirk's hands to aid in pushing both the regulation pants and boxer-briefs down, his thoughts came to an abrupt, shrieking halt. _Fuck._ A flash of white heat tore through him and he shuddered, unsure of a time he'd been more turned on — or turned on more quickly, for that matter.

Swallowing more thickly than he meant to, he gazed up at Spock for several heartbeats (heartbeats that suddenly felt like they were pounding right against his ribs) before leaning in and dragging his tongue over the head of the Vulcan's length. The groan that left him at that first taste of heated, hardening flesh was shameless and he repeated the action.]

Spock: [It was a large gamble, Spock realized. There were always two hands that played at this; one what was genuine and eager, more than passionate about going about things in such a bold way, then there was the other that couldn't tell if Jim had been playing and teasing as he often did, one that only anted up to Jim's confidence, and would reconcile if it were the wrong move. And at the apparent quivering, Spock was inclined to think that he did something wrong.

Especially at that look and swallow. His head tilted in consideration and he was about to speak up only to take in a sharp breath, letting his eyes take a long blink. Jim's tongue felt hotter than it did on his stomach causing a sparking rush of satisfaction through his loins, his member hardening quickly with that second tasting. Already Spock couldn't help the slow shift of his hips while he looked back down to Kirk, his stomach twisting deliciously at the sight. His hairs were standing on end again and he could already feel his length start to produce a thin film of lubricant.]

Kirk: [That slow shift of hips was enough to drive Kirk on, lips closing around the head of Spock's length. He swirled his tongue and sucked, eyes falling to half-lidded with another shameless, deep groan that was practically ripped from his throat. One of his hands moved, fingers curling at the base of him and stroking up, then back down, a light pressure that was more teasing than satisfying.]

Spock: [Feeling his tip engulfed in a spinning heat, the gratifying pressure as he was sucked on and the addition of vibrations pulled a moan from Spock just as well, the faint noise just barely passing his lips. A shorter more abrupt hum came from him at that the teasing strokes of Jim's fingers, his own dragging through blond hair to the sides of Kirk's head, gently stroking nails over and drawing nonsensical patterns into his scalp. There was little Spock could do in the means of pleasuring Jim back as his own only continued to mount, but he was trying to be as encouraging as he could with noise and touch.]

Kirk: [The encouragement was more than enough reciprocation for Kirk; to know he was working the Vulcan up to the point of making nearly audible noises, combined with the ruffle of long fingers through his hair and the gentle scrape of blunt nails over his scalp. He sucked harder, taking more of Spock into his mouth, tongue caressing the vein along the underside and sliding back to drag over the slit at the tip. The natural lubrication forming allowed him to bob easily, and with a swallow he took Spock in until he hit the back of his throat and the blond whined with unrepentant need.]

Spock: [They wanted to be much louder noises truth be told. While physically it had been rather easy for him to resist arousal when he was away, that hardly stopped him from yearning it. And with such a lack of personal time and privacy, Spock hadn't once found the chance to put himself at ease. So much like the previous attention his scars had been given, his sensitivity only rang that more true as Jim continued to pleasure him.

Spock's breath hitched clearly as Kirk's tongue slid back up his vein to the slit of his head, a loud moan finally leaving his throat at the way he was swallowed around—fingers curling into those golden locks—the reverberation of Jim's whine only working wonders on him. His shaft was throbbing already, heated, telling him to move his immobile hips, and the Vulcan was concerned he wouldn't be able to endure as much of the bliss he was being given as he would have liked to. But oh was he going to try.]

Kirk: [That loud moan, finally, _finally_ escaping sent a new sheet of heat through him and he doubled his efforts, hands moving back to Spock's hips where they coaxingly pulled forward, giving him silent permission to thrust. Kirk could handle it, wanted it even. He could feel the throbbing against his tongue, and his own cock pulsed in a combination of sympathy and jealously. He distantly thought it was probably a good thing they were planning to shower (eventually... he was rather good at derailing plans, even his own) because he was so hard he was absolutely leaking precome and making an inevitable mess of his uniform bottoms.]

Spock: [At first the halfling wasn't sure what to make of Jim's hands pulling his hips closer until his mind put two and two together. Then, slowly, Spock rolled his hips into Jim's mouth, his eyes fluttering shut as he pulled out some before rocking back into him and starting an even rhythm. His hands released the hair he held onto, instead smoothing and petting at Jim's head with fingers occasionally brushing over rounded ears. 

How he was going to return this favor to Kirk, however, he didn't know; a thought meant to distract him from letting his arousal build too quickly. Though his mind wandered, actually thinking of the things he'd let Jim do to him, and instead the thing meant to distract him only further fed his passion. With a husky groan, a hand reaching down to his captain's nape, Spock's hips thrusted a bit faster.]

Kirk: [His eyes fell closed as well when Spock began to thrust, albeit slowly at first, his hands smoothing over his hair, his ears, and a shiver took hold of him at the gentle contact. He kept his lips tight, letting Spock move as he would, fire seeming to flare up and down his spine with each rock of the Vulcan's hips, with each slide of him over his tongue. When one of his hands fell to his nape and his thrusts sped up a bit, Kirk hollowed out his cheeks, hoping to add to the friction. He couldn't stop one of his own hands from dropping to palm at his clothed erection.]

Spock: [The last thing the halfling wanted to do was get carried away with this act, his mind constantly reminding himself that he couldn't push too fast or hard or even tug at Jim to pull him forward. It explained his carefulness in the situation, his continued light touches; Spock didn't want to be rough. It didn't seem as if he would need to resort to that. The added friction, and consequently suction, was plenty enough to extract a lengthy moan from the Vulcan.] Jim... [He could feel the heat rush to his ears and cheeks, his breath heavier than before while his pace quickened, steadying soon after. Subsequently, in the face of his rising pleasure, his touches became much more tangible, even if they were only so in application.]

Kirk: [Spock had obviously said his name before, but not like that, not when Kirk was kneeling in front of him, lips stretched around his length as the Vulcan rocked into him — and then there was the _way_ he said it, all breathless and husky and needful. It was easily one of the most arousing sounds he'd ever heard, and he whined around Spock, urging him on as best he could.]

Spock: [Only a few thrusts had passed, hips twisting for a new angle that give him jolts of pleasure with each bump, before Jim had droned around him again. And that was what did the Vulcan in, the final thing to suddenly push him to his apex. Hips twitched as he gasped out Jim's name once more, barely a warning, as the halfling's seed shot into the back of Kirk's mouth. Fingers had curled into blond locks and stayed there until his orgasm had passed, giving an apologetic touch before Spock stepped back to tuck himself back into his underwear. He couldn't help but feel the slightest bit embarrassed now; he'd been so quick.]

Kirk: [Kirk swallowed down Spock's release, savoring the bitter-salty taste. He let him go, then, sliding back and off his length with a final long lick and a kiss to the tip before the Vulcan was tucking himself back in. He could sense Spock's embarrassment, and as he stood up he dragged Spock back in, closer to him, until he could brush a reassuring kiss against the corner of his mouth. He didn't care how quick Spock had been. He didn't imagine he'd last long if the Vulcan put his hands or mouth on him either.]

Are we still showering?

[That had been the purpose of the trip into the bathroom, after all, no matter how much Kirk had derailed it with his little oral fixation.]

Spock: [There was a small hiccup in Spock's movements at the final attentions to his now even more sensitive head. Breath was just calming when Kirk stood and pulled him closer, a soft, throaty hum caught in him as he returned the kiss. It did ease him, that discomfort fading soon enough. Drawing his head back to answer that question, the brunet nodded with his voice barely winded.] 

That was indeed our intention. [Spock knew, at the very least, he needed it. And judging by the bulge pressing against him, Jim might have needed it just as well. Leaning his head forward, he nudged his nose to Jim's cheek.] However, if you wish, I would be willing to return your favor beforehand.

Kirk: Indeed it was.

[A breathy chuckle followed his words — and a groan followed that announcement from Spock, hips twitching forward of their own accord. Kirk linked his arms over Spock's shoulders, fingers threading into his hair. He was aware his actions weren't getting them any closer to the shower, but just then he didn't really care.]

You don't have to. Not saying I don't want it, just... we have time.

[He turned his head enough to be able to bump his nose against Spock's.]

You'll be lucky if I let you out of my sight again, mister.

Spock: [The shower may have been necessary but their touches were distracting and the Vulcan didn't mind at all. They would get there soon enough. His head inclined to those intrusively welcomed fingers, his curled own busying themselves by running up and down Jim's sides.]

Naturally. There is a generous amount of time left in the evening, yet in spite of that your arousal is with us now. I either heed it now or in the shower, where it will be undeniably prominent.

[Spock's head tilted modestly at the statement, forehead crinkling some. It was Jim's tone that threw him off as such a strong of words would imply he would be under constant surveillance, a thing no one wanted. A thoughtful croon came from him.]

That does not sound as unpleasant as I believe it was designed it to be.

Kirk: [Kirk put on his best 'thoughtful' face again and pretended to think about that for a moment, all the while giving small, gentle tugs at the silken strands his fingers were curled into. Finally, he smiled, kissing the corner of Spock's mouth again.]

In that case I leave the decision completely up to you.

[That thoughtful croon had his smile blossoming into a quick, bright grin.]

I could threaten to chain myself to you instead. Still not unpleasant?

Spock: [It was a peculiar face, that. The Vulcan had seen it many times before and had only caught onto it after a few displays. This time though it only meant that Jim was staring at him, his tugs of his hair nearly distracting, and again Spock couldn't find it in himself to be bothered. His lips curled lightly at the kiss, head barely turning to press a warmer, fuller one onto Jim's.]

Then I advise you start our shower.

[He blinked down at the question, brow flicking up in consideration. Brown eyes didn't look back up until he he answered a few moments later.]

Not unpleasant but illogical. That would do us more harm than good. If you are insistant upon chains, there is an abundance of situations where they may be of better use than attaching us to one another.

Kirk: [He might have moved to turn the shower on and divest himself of the rest of his remaining clothing, but then Spock said that and — _holy hell_ , had the Vulcan just made an innuendo? ...He had! Kirk stared at him for several seconds before chuckling, the sound low, dark.]

Indeed there is. I tend to prefer leather, though.

[Giving his most seductive smirk before turning around, Kirk awed over how quick his First Officer (...and apparent lover) was as he engaged the water and went about undoing his pants and slipping them off, along with his boxer-briefs. It left him nude and still very much aroused.]

Spock: [Spock had started to unclothe himself after making that comment only to pause, with thumbs freshly hooked under the waistband of boxer-briefs, as Kirk stared at him. It was an inspecting gaze, the halfling blinking a few times before raising his brow with a downward turn of his head. Yes he had just implied that and the look stayed, in part wonderment, in reply to the answer he received.] 

Leather is far more forgiving in comparison to metal. [Just as strong, if stitched just right. And he had an inkling that maybe this wouldn't be the last they talked about this.

Heavens, though; that smirk. It was something he hadn't seen in some time and something he wasn't going to forget anytime soon, tucking what emotion was bubbling in him to the back of his mind. After tossing his remaning clothing in the laundry Spock approached the shower and tested it with a hand, watching as the thin dusting of dirt on his skin turned a reddish orange and dripped down his arm. 

At least the temperature was gratifying. Stepping into the shower, not a thought passing his mind as to the sight of red dripping down him, the brunette turned and offered Jim a hand in.]

Kirk: [Oh, this definitely wouldn't be the last time they talked about it. Kirk filed the conversation away for later, when they had more time, _after_ he'd decided he could handle Spock being more than a few feet away from him. He watched as Spock stripped off his remaining clothing and tested the water, watched the film of dirt covering his hand darken as it got wet. When he stepped in and the water hit him fully, making the dirt slide off him in red rivulets, Kirk's mouth went dry.

Taking the offered hand, he stepped in with Spock. The shower was fair sized, easily big enough to accommodate two people and still be comfortable. The water was a touch hotter than he usually had it at, and he hissed in a breath, but it wasn't too hot to handle, and after taking a moment to force himself to adjust, he slid his hands up Spock's chest.]

God I missed you.

[It was a bare whisper above the rush of the water, and he leaned in to brush their mouths together.]

Spock: [The general topic of that to-be-conversation wasn't something he wholly looked forward to, if only because he still had a limited idea of kinks ad if he would like to play any of them out, but it would be interesting nonetheless; surely more questions from Kirk and Spock giving possibilities more than anything.

Stepping aside as he was joined, the temperature hadn't registered as "hot" to him until that noise came from Jim. His first instinct was to shield him from it in some way, only to realize that would do nothing compared to actually turning the water cooler. Even his hand had reached out to hover over the display and he was about to voice such an offer when hands on his chest distracted him from doing so, a sharp breath of muggy air drawn into his lungs. Kirk hadn't bolted out of the shower, after all. It couldn't have been terrible.

And that phrase was plenty loud enough for pointed ears to pick up over any sort of rushing. Spock nearly replied to it before lips had met though their closeness got the better of him once again, a soft kiss in return his new reply. Hands moved to Jim's sides once again as he pressed their bodies closer in emphasis of how much the Vulcan had missed him too. ]

Kirk: [As far as he was concerned, they had time to explore kinks. He knew the Vulcan had limited experience. That didn't matter. It was sort of a good thing, because it meant Kirk got to teach him, got to see sides of him no one else had.

When Spock pressed closer, he let a soft, pleased sound escape him. He was still hard, length pressing against Spock's lower abdomen, but the kiss wasn't urgent. No, it was slow, exploring, passionate. He had every intention of taking advantage of the evening he'd been gifted with his First Officer.]

Spock: [Kinks and future teachings aside, Jim was going to see sides of him no one would see _ever_. No matter the urges he might have denied himself before he met the blond, Spock knew what they could be with him and that alone gave him the resolve not to seek such a thing in another being. Already he was much more emotionally attached than he wished to be and all at the same time he wanted to be more so with Kirk.

As tender though the kiss was, caring one could even dare to say, a reminder was nudging at him as to why they had entered the shower. In a way. A small detour, really. Besides, it would be easier for them to be passionate and explorative were they both not so physically aroused. Ending their kiss with shorter, lighter ones, Spock started to trail them away from Jim's mouth, to his jaw, before drifting lower. Larger more possessive kisses were planted on his captain's neck down to his clavicle, lighter presses applied to his chest though the same couldn't be said about the few seconds of attention he paid to the man's nipple.

After that Spock descended to his knees swiftly, his tongue trailing all the way against Kirk's abdomen, his breath on his skin strangely dissimilar to the heat the water gave them. Vulcan lips were now light over Jim's pelvis, though the pop of them leaving golden skin was sharp over the shower, even as they strayed over to the hip scattered with bruises.]

Kirk: [He let his head fall back when Spock deviated from his mouth. As he descended, Kirk's hands went to his shoulders, his ears, finally coming to tangle in wet hair with a choked noise once Spock was on his knees in front of him, mimicking his own position from before. His mouth was hot even in comparison to the water and a shiver tore through him. He made himself look down, eyes hooded, lust and affection warring for dominance in the sapphire depths. The bruises seemed more stark in the lighting of the bathroom even though they were greatly faded.]

Spock: [For a creature like Spock, especially one so captivated by another being, those bruises stood out despite the lighting. They weren't the color of Jim's skin, though they were trying to be, and they weren't there last the halfling had seen him. Now, as if to coerce them away, heated kisses smothered the marks after a feverish tongue gently traced and lapped at them. Not a single one had escaped his ministrations even if most of the time was spent staring back up to the blond.

His own eyes were darker with mischief, the gears in his mind clearly ever turning—trying to figure out a way to best please his partner. As much as he wanted to do such, he had little to draw on and didn't want to emulate everything Jim had done to him. Digressing then from the bruises, Spock nipped at a patch of skin free of contusions on the hip before him while a hand ran up the inner of Kirk's thigh, nails delicately scraping down it as Spock's attentions drew closer and softer to the arousal next to him.]

Kirk: [He wasn't sure he'd ever been privy to such detailed, loving attention before. It was almost enough to make him want to squirm away, to retreat back into the safety of himself. He'd already bared himself to Spock, though, and there was absolutely no way he was going back. The Vulcan's dark gaze trapped his. The tongue and lips on his bruises were a brand, searing through his skin and igniting his blood, and he hissed in a soft breath at the nip, fingers briefly tightening in Spock's hair before he caught himself and relaxed, stroking through the soft, wet locks that were even longer than they had been thanks to the weight of water soaking into them.]

Spock: [They were even then, both equally guilty for making the other uncomfortable in the most enticing ways and wanting more despite themselves. And the halfling didn't want things any other way either. A light moan was pressed against Jim's skin at the tug of his hair, a fire seeming to light up behind those chocolatey, dilated eyes of his. Spock didn't mind that draw of his hair at all. In fact he pressed a tender kiss just over his pelvis in an attempt to prove it. And to apologize. No more bites so low; he understood. Only after a moments pause, Spock broke their stare and shifted his weight on his knees. Then lowering his head, he planted a kiss at the base of Jim's cock before wet kisses trailed all the way to his tip.]

Kirk: [Another thing that was new to him: how Spock's eyes could make everything in his gut clench and nearly undo him with their intensity alone. He let out the sharply inhaled breath he'd taken slowly, savoring the tender kiss. Then Spock was shifting, head lowered, and he stopped breathing as heat rippled up his spine with every press of lips, every wet kiss Spock trailed up the length of his aching cock. When he remembered to breathe again it was with a ragged, broken moan.]

Oh fuck. Spock.

[His fingers clenched in the dark hair again, but what little sense of self he'd possessed before had been effectively shattered. It was control his hand or control his hips and he only had enough mental presence to conrol one, so hand it was.]

Spock: [By the time that moan of Jim's had fallen on his pointed ears, Spock was completely in front the blond's erection and licking his lips. He almost wanted to say he hadn't thought he'd done much to earn any obscenities just yet but, with those hands in his hair giving him shivers, the thought stayed where it was while his tongue reached out to drag under Kirk's head, over the tip and then the top. A part of the Vulcan didn't want to hear his own voice, barely a noise he'd make, in favor of hearing what sounds he could get the other produce. In the wake of that notion and a repeated, reversed action of his tongue, Spock then took Jim's tip into his mouth and sucked at it delicately.]

Kirk: [Spock might not have done much just yet, but that didn't mean the anticipation, the build-up wasn't going to kill Kirk anyway. He was already seriously worked up, and the way the Vulcan was being all slow and delicate was only further heating his arousal. Of course it wasn't a surprise to find that his First Officer was as meticulous with sex as he was with everything else he applied his attentions to, but it definitely added a thrill. To be the direct focus of that keen, penetrating attention was nothing short of exhilarating.

He panted harshly at the feel of Spock's tongue under then over his head, hips jerking ever so slightly when wet heat closed around him and sucked like he was partaking from a delicacy. He let his eyes flutter shut, blocking out everything but the spray of water and the feel of Spock around him, in front of him.]

Spock: [Of course he was being slow and delicate. It was for more than one reason just as well. As much as Spock wanted them to physically exhaust each other and let them be rough, they had only just reunited. That, along with the fact that sex—no matter the kind—was an extremely intimate act for a Vulcan made it no wonder why he was treating Jim like a cherished thing; because he was. Vulcans were monogamous creatures and rarely confided in multiple partners in regards to their sexuality. So every touch was intentional, designed only to further please him.

At the jolt of hips, a short hum came from Spock as he glanced up, his hands sliding up the front of Kirk's thighs encouragingly. He was allowed to move too if he wished. After all Spock had never done such a thing before, he was sure to be slower than Jim might have liked. Still, that wasn't going to stop the brunet from trying. With one last tantalizing swipe of his tongue he started to bob his head, taking the hardened length deeper into his mouth and keeping up the suction.]

Kirk: [Kirk knew this was more than a casual fling, for both Spock and himself. It was one of the reasons he was so overwhelmed, about to shake out of his skin from the sheer knowledge of the fact that he never wanted this with _anyone_ but Spock ever again. He'd never been one for commitment, but he couldn't see himself without the Vulcan and their year apart had only cemented that fact.

The short hum and encouraging brush of hands up his slick thighs had him opening his eyes, lust-hazy gaze fixing back on Spock as he returned to his ministrations, tongue a wicked curl of heat before he was bobbing on him. A keening cry tore itself from Kirk's throat.]

 _Spock_!

[His hips jerked again, a bit more steadily, easing into the rhythm Spock created.]

Spock: [Spock had never been worried of commitment no matter the shape it came in and if anything he looked forward to it more so if it meant there would be someone to share his time with. Never had he fathomed he could find that in a younger man who just so happened to be his captain but he had also never dismissed the thought either. And the halfling knew this was just as large a step for Jim, if not more so, as it was himself. That was why he had never brought it up to the blond, the magnitude in which he regarded their relationship; he didn't want to scare Jim away.

The sharp cry only emboldened him to continue, dipping his head down further and taking more of him in. His tongue did its best to move in the cramped space, gliding against and around Jim's member as hands proceeded to feel up his leg and hips, fingers exploring every contour of muscle they could find. When Kirk was near the back of Spock's mouth, he swallowed once and then again twice, quickly and involuntarily, before backing off him. Only for a moment, that was. Enough to pull away from him with an audible pop of his lips and a tilt of his head before promptly going down once more in decent increments.]

Kirk: [Thankfully, he wasn't easily scared off.

He dragged his hands through Spock's hair as he worked him, nails gently scraping scalp. Occasionally clever fingers would drop to pointed ears, tracing the elegant curve and point of them. A sharp, guttural groan was the answer to Spock's swallow, the way muscles contracted around him. When Spock pulled back, he loosened his hold, briefly concerned he was choking the Vulcan, but then he was going down on him again and a hard shudder worked its way through Kirk.]

 _Yes_ , fuck, Spock, _Spock_ —

[It was a breathless litany, full of praise and lust and a million other things he couldn't possibly name but were threatening to overflow.]

Spock: [Feeling fingers running through his hair, nails dragging on his scalp, was giving Spock small pangs of excitement—his own fingers curling against Jim's skin—and when his ears were caressed and played with, his breath hitched varyingly each time. It just so happened because of those touches, a compulsive and virtually inaudible purr made an appearance amidst the Vulcans attentions. Hearing such approbations caused a kaleidoscope of butterflies to gather in his stomach again, the thrill of hearing his name called so lustfully urging him to take Kirk deeper despite his inexperience. And just as the other had done to him earlier, Spock added to his friction by suctioning his cheeks in.]

Kirk: [He couldn't hear that subtle purring but he could feel it, rumbling through where they touched, and it had Kirk tilting his head as he tried to figure out what it was. A task that was far easier said than done, particularly with the way Spock took him in still more and hollowed out his cheeks. Another choked, broken, desperate noise worked its way out of his throat, and he gripped Spock's hair again just as the building pleasure crested. He didn't have enough time to even try give a warning before he was plummeting over the edge with a long, low groan and releasing himself into Spock's mouth.]

Spock: [A verbal warning wasn't necessary, he could tell with a surprising amount of ease that Jim was nearing his tipping point. Verbal praise had ceased—instead replaced with a symphony of noises and breaths, muscles were shaking in the most minute way under his hands and the amount of preseminal fluid were all clear signs. That and the gratifying way his hair was clenched, of course. And since there wasn't time to be warned, there wasn't enough time to pull Jim out of his mouth. So Spock relaxed his throat barely in time and swallowed what he was given, his purring momentarily discontinued.]

Kirk: [A series of shivers wracked his form as Spock swallowed his seed and the last of his orgasm washed through him, leaving him feeling rather boneless and shaky. He once again relaxed his hold in Spock's hair, apologetically stroking through the dark, wet strands while he tried to get control of his breathing. His chest was heaving, skin flushed all over, eyes the brightest, clearest blue they'd ever been. In short? He looked wrecked. A soft, husky murmur of sated pleasure was all he could manage even as he stepped back and carefully pulled Spock up, arms linking over the Vulcan's shoulders. He let himself sink against the slightly taller, lean body, pressing lazy, idle kisses along the slick expanse of throat that was bared to his lips.]

Spock. Y'r seriously never 'lowed to leave me again.

[He slurred the words into Spock's shoulder.]

Spock: [Spock waited patiently for Jim's orgasm to pass, gradually loosening the muscles in his mouth as hands comfortingly ran over those wobbly legs. Once he felt the length over his tongue leisurely become flaccid, he pulled himself off the other just in time for apologetic strokes over his hair to stop and to be coerced to his feet. He couldn't help notice then, as he quickly licked the corner of his mouth, that Jim looked a flustered mess. It was quite a sight to behold and one he didn't mind ogling.

It even pacified his nerves about the performance of his first attempt at oral sex, and he was more than willing to support Jim as he was leaned against. Spock's arms wrapped snugly around the younger's waist, nuzzling himself into soaked blond hair once kisses were concluded. His own voice was low and soft;]

I would have it no other way, Jim.

Kirk: Good.

[Teeth gently scraped over the pale skin of the angular shoulder in his reach, tongue quickly soothing the nip. He stayed in Spock's embrace for several minutes, simply enjoying the Vulcan's solid presence and the afterglow of his climax until he was able to gather himself enough to reach for the soap he knew the Vulcan preferred (sharing a bathroom had its perks, even if he'd been dubious of its merits in the beginning).]

Spock: [The tiniest, pleased rumble came from Spock then at the bite, his arms coiling around Jim a touch more snugly. For those next few minutes he was content just as well in standing under the spray of their shower, holding Jim as if he were entertaining the idea that this was all a torturous, teasing dream. His head turned when Kirk moved to grab something, making Spock's brow raise. 

That was _his_ soap. The one uniquely his, with tones of sandalwood and a hints of amber, the one he preferred over the generic plastic-smelling bar provided by Starfeet. He reached for a washcloth then to get it wet.] I did not expect you would have kept that. 

[Moreover he was surprised it lasted so long to warrant not being thrown out. Perks indeed it seemed, tricky though it was when they first set out. Ever curious and wary Spock had been, making sure not to touch Jim's things when he wasn't cleaning up on occasion as to not impede on shared, semi-spacious restroom.]

Kirk: [The flush that suffused his skin at being caught out was difficult to distinguish from the glow the heat of the water had created. He knew he was blushing, though, and Kirk grinned up at Spock all lopsidedly.]

Sorry. You left it behind and I...

[He cleared his throat, trying to work out how to say _I only used it when I missed you so fucking bad I thought I was going to crawl out of my skin (which was roughly twice, maybe three times a month)_ only with a lot more tact and less potential creepiness. Because noticing that the bathroom didn't smell the same after a month of single occupancy was definitely weird but he was pretty sure using Spock's soap to remedy that crossed the line and dove straight into creepy. Eventually he gave up and shrugged a little helplessly instead.]

The scent made some days easier to handle.

[Like Spock was still there, instead of light years away.]

Spock: [The color that further permeated over Jim's features were not seen as a flush, even to keen eyes. Spock had assumed, rather, that the heat of the water was gradually affecting his skin. Though he wasn't partial to the idea of leaving their shower soon but he didn't want to stay and risk Jim drying out his skin. In spite of that, the halfling waited patiently for words to found.

And when they were, there was no denying the tightness in his chest. His first thought hadn't been that Jim using his soap was creepy. It was that memories and moods could be dictated, and managed in Kirk's case, through the recollection of aromas. Spock shook his head gently then, setting the washcloth over his shoulder before taking the soap from Jim and beginning to lather it in his hands.]

Do not apologize, Jim. I did not take it with me for a reason. Had you not paid it heed in my absence it would have desiccated and gone to waste. As a product of Vulcan, [He trailed momentarily to start running soap coated finger through blond locks.] that would have been just as deplorable had it not been here to give you solace.

[He understood why it had been so difficult to say now. Disturbing though it should have been, it wasn't. Spock didn't have any physical thing to recall Jim by during the time between their communications.]

Kirk: [Solace. That word made Kirk's insides untwist, made something that had been clamped down tight loosen, and he sighed, a small, pleased sound when Spock's fingers ran through his hair. He leaned into the caress, tilting his head in a bid to get more of the contact.]

Wish I would've thought to give you something. I guess at the time that would have been inappropriate, though.

[Inappropriate meaning overly sentimental, a human trait he knew Vulcans generally cringed at. Kirk knew Spock was often a victim of sentimentality, though. He'd seen the way he'd look out at the stars, how his eyes would shift when anyone mentioned Vulcan or mothers, how gently he handled his lyre and the softness of his mouth that time Kirk had given him a Vulcan book he'd happened to find.]

Spock: [While one hand carefully worked through to the back of Jim's head, made easier by his leaning, Spock's other hand let the bar turn in his hand to gather more soap for a few more moments. After setting the bar back where it was retrieved, both hands started to massage the multi-use cleanser into Kirk's scalp.]

It would have been, yes. [His replying words were soft, his touch just the same. He would have revered anything Jim gave him, but what could he have given him that wasn't obviously a trinket to be remembered by? ] However as I stated before, you were never far from my thoughts. Our conversations were enough for me.

[There were many times he wished he would have packed that book Jim gave him. But not even that was something he wanted to risk endangering damaging or losing. Instead, despite the light years apart and when it wasn't dangerous and he couldn't get a hold of Jim, the halfling spent his sleepless nights stargazing. He didn't feel so separated from his home then. Now, however, he was home and with Jim at that; sentimentality was a thing he would show in spades if it let the blond know he was missed.]

Kirk: [Kirk only murmured in response, lost to the sensation of Spock lathering his hair. Grabbing up the soap yet again only moments after it was placed back down, he got his own hands sufficiently foamy before dropping it into place a third time. Then he was running his hands over Spock's torso, mapping out the planes of his shoulders, chest, and abdomen, all while ensuring he worked the soap onto the Vulcan's sun-kissed skin. He inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of the soap, a scent he realized he'd likely still be carrying tomorrow. No one had seemed to think it strange that their Captain had occasionally smelled like sandalwood and amber in Spock's absence (or if they had, they'd been smart enough not to say anything) but with him back he imagined he might at least get a look or two from certain members of the bridge crew. He found he didn't care as much as he probably should have.]

Spock: [The fact that Spock had rendered Jim to mumbles just by washing his hair had sent a tingle crawling up his spine, the slightest bit of satisfaction showing in his eyes. His satisfaction grew, of course, then Kirk's hand's were roaming over his skin and further ridding him of the the dirt from New Vulcan. By the time the blond's hand had scrubbed their way down to the Vulcan's abdomen that purring had returned and again was soft, mostly felt. 

Even if it wasn't a difficult thing to control with the relief of being where he belonged, various tensions beginning to be relieved, this time with Jim and the scent of his old home in the air, Spock could have keep up the vibratory sounds all night. All the same, he hadn't thought that his soap would have lasted on Jim so noticeably until their morning shift. Spock frequently wore a cologne he'd discovered on Earth years ago which when added to this soap gave him that musky, spicy scent. He only assumed something similar could have been said for Jim. Looks be damned, as far as Spock was concerned. They shared a bathroom and soap was a common item.

Unfortunately for the both of them, there was only so much blond hair to have been washed. Spock had taken advantage of the moment as much as he could have though, running his fingers through short strands to better help the water wash away any stubborn suds. When he'd gotten all he could, reluctantly, he lowered his hands before leaning down to give Jim a semi-brief, grateful kiss.]

Kirk: That sound. You're like a cat.

[He spoke against Spock's lips, chasing them after the too-brief kiss. He slid his hands back up Spock's chest, arms looping over his shoulders and around to the back of his neck where he pushed his fingers into his hair, threading them through soaked locks before he was reaching for the soap a final time. After getting a decent lather going, he set the soap aside and worked his fingers back into Spock's hair, massaging the soap into the Vulcan's scalp. He couldn't quite resist brushing his thumbs over the tips of those pointed ears every so often, a contented smile tugging at his mouth. Between the heat, the feel of the water as it sluiced off their bodies, the alluring, intoxicating scent and the sound of Spock's purring, he felt more happy than he could remember being in... well, ever.]

Spock: [A heavy exhale fell from him, one Jim would surely feel. Again with cats.] I am part alien to you; I suppose I would possess some animalistic characteristics. However I am not related to any branch of Felidae, as much as you imply.

[It seemed, much like the incident where they got caught in the rain and Jim said he resembled a "pissed off cat", this was going to be a recurring theme between them and not one Spock could seem to handle to his preferred extent. Even more so than when his front was taken care of, thoughts fell from his mind as soon as Jim's hands were in his hair. His head tiled and leaned into the touch, eyes fluttering shut as those cat-like sounds obviously being repressed. Of course his ears weren't helping much with that—every intentional touch got a reaction. Most of the time it was a mere twitch of his brow but, with each additional skim, slowly a green flush was working its way to the Vulcan's visage. As if to distract from that, Spock affectionately slid curled fingers over Kirk's abdomen.]

Kirk: Uh huh. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that Vulcans have feline ancestry.

[Yeah, Jim was pretty much always going to compare Spock to a cat. He couldn't help it; he acted like a cat, all mightier-than-thou and graceful. The purring wasn't helping. At all.

He wasn't going to be easily distracted, not from that alluring green flush, though the curled fingers _did_ feel good and he hummed out his pleasure at the touch even as he finished lathering up the Vulcans' hair and began to rinse out the suds. He continued to intentionally brush Spock's ears, wondering just how sensitive they were, not to mention how long he would continue to allow the touches.]

Spock: [Making no attempt to straighten the angle his head was in, the halfling carefully shook his head in Jim's hands.] Then I am afraid you read a falsified document, Jim. [Mightier-than-thou? _Spock?_ Perish the thought.

Another thing he may never admit or concede to either was the coyness he felt around the blond. Or rather, the things that were done to him. They were very sensitive, those points of his, as if keeping his head down and brow modestly furrowed wasn't clue enough. The simple, teasing act was taking more and more just to keep himself from fidgeting and to control the sounds he was making. As much as he disliked the display, this was what he missed; he didn't want Jim to stop. So he didn't cease his touches either, this time running his fingers up toned sides and teasing over his hips.]

Kirk: [Kirk gave in to a sharp, sudden shiver at the feel of Spock's hands up his sides, over his hips. With another pleased hum, he leaned up, kissing the corner of Spock's mouth.]

Feel cleaner?

[Words were punctuated with a nip at the Vulcan's jaw. He certainly felt cleaner, though he hadn't been the one coated with dirt.]

Spock: [His lips twitched at the shiver he was able to give Kirk, the small victory was only a temporary distraction from the attention to his ears. The kiss caused a subtle hitch in his breath, Spock leaning gently into the blond. A croon vibrating in his throat at the nip.] Very.

[Snaking his hands up Jim's body, Spock pressed his palms to Kirk's neck, fingers wrapping around to the back of his neck while thumbs stroked over earlobes.] However, before we conclude, would you mind washing my back for me?

Kirk: Mind? Not at all. Turn around.

[Even if Spock hadn't been able to see his grin, he would have been able to hear it in his voice. Yeah, he might have been planning to use the opportunity as a chance to ogle Spock's backside. He already admired it on a regular basis, though much more discreetly, from his chair on the bridge.]

Spock: [Of course he heard it, it was very hard not to hear Jim's mood through his voice and Spock was always learning when it came to that. That being said, he knew well enough that the tone meant something extra had crossed Jim's mind. Of that he had a small inkling, though he hardly understood most of Jim's reasoning.

To answer, giving his thanks without saying such, Spock tilted his head up to give the blond a kiss to his temple before turning his back to him. He was beginning to see the appeal of the gesture. 

A few, seemingly long to him, seconds later, Spock lifted his head and turned it towards his shoulder. It wasn't enough to see the other but it was enough for his voice to carry over the shower.] Jim... are you aware of what a mind meld is?

Kirk: [Kirk had reached for the soap and lathered his hands up a final time when Spock voiced that question and he paused, memories flashing through his mind; Delta Vega, an older, less shielded Spock, the feel of his fingers against his temple, cheek and jaw, being bombarded by a torrent of images and emotions. Setting the soap aside again, he began to smooth his hands over Spock's upper back, fingers tracing the slight jut of shoulder blades.]

Yeah. You — er, the other you melded with me to explain what had happened to him.

[He slid his first two fingers down the line of Spock's spine as he spoke, following the subtle curve.]

It was kind of intense.

Spock: [Spock waited for an answer, unmoving, though when nothing but silence had fallen between them, he finally twisted more to get a look at Jim. At the hands on his back, he started to turn back only to double take at the answer he was given. He knew his older self had spoken to Jim but not that they had meld. Something small knotted in his gut, the confusion clear on his face before he faced the wall again.

He had difficulty suppressing the shiver from Jim's fingers down his spine, clearing his throat as he ran a hand over his forearm. A small distraction more than to clean himself, if anything.]

Define intense. As in overpowering or intolerable? Burdening? [Every creature reacted differently to it, some couldn't handle the transference while others could. Spock was trying to gage Jim's tolerance, since he already had experience. It didn't sound as if he took it well.]

Kirk: [He caught that look of confusion and his hands stilted, falling still at the small of Spock's back. Had he said something wrong? Kirk did a quick mental backtrack of their conversation. He couldn't pinpoint any place he might have slipped up, though.]

Intense as in...

[Kirk frowned. How the hell was he supposed to define what he'd experienced in words? The whole reason Spock — the other Spock — had used a mind meld was because there hadn't been enough time for words and even if there had been enough time for words, melding was so much more... _thorough_. His hands started moving again, skating back up the expanse of Spock's back.]

Overwhelming, but in a good way. It was like being submerged in deep water and not being able to breathe. You start to panic but then you look up and you can see the surface and it's beautiful despite the burning in your lungs.

[Fingers skimmed Spock's shoulders and he leaned in to press a kiss against the knob at the top of his spine.]

Then you're being pulled up and when you breach the surface, gasping for air, you're not alone. It's bright and warm and... Spock, are you jealous?

[The revelation seemed to come from nowhere but while he was talking Kirk realized that was what the look must have meant.]

Spock: [Something akin to paranoia had flushed under Spock's skin when Kirk paused, that knot twisting in anticipation as hands settled on the small of his back. He hadn't asked him to describe the experience itself, even if it was interesting to hear. At least he didn't think he asked that. He was looking moreover for his reaction afterwords. "Intense" was often chosen to describe an acute like or dislike of a particular experience. Despite Jim's attitude towards him after Nero was defeated, the Vulcan still drew on the negativity of the word to fill in the blanks. After all, he hadn't been there to share in the encounter.

He also knew that describing a mind meld was nothing short of baffling. Vulcans had only called it emotional transference because not even they could work together a better description for the magnitude that it imposed on the pair. So to hear Jim explain it in such a detailed and passionate way albeit related to drowning—something he had yet to experience as he had never before swam—only indicated that "overwhelming in a good way" was oddly accurate. A small noise slipped from him at the kiss, the gesture soothing.

Temporarily, anyway. Whatever small movements that had displayed his comfort froze at the accusation of being jealous. His stillness didn't didn't stay long, a small, stiff shake of his head following.] 

That is illogical, Jim. [The words were hasty.] I cannot be jealous of myself. [In this case however he could and he was. The brunet only denied it because he couldn't logically explain how he was. On one hand Jim had mind melded with him but on the other—it wasn't _him_.]

Kirk: [He grinned despite himself and despite Spock's hasty words of denial regarding being jealous. It wasn't logical, no, but then most emotions weren't. Trailing his hands up and down Spock's back one last time, he nudged the Vulcan to turn, to face him.]

If I found out you'd melded with another version of me, I think I'd be irrationally jealous. I probably should have told you earlier. There was that whole 'time and space collapsing' deceit, though, and then you were gone.

Spock: [Oh, Spock felt that grin. A quiet, heavy exhale huffed through his nose; Jim knew. And he knew he knew. Only even now it wouldn't be admitted. Illogical emotions wouldn't be admitted until they were logical. He turned at the nudging, hands immediately reaching out to rest on Kirk's sides.]

[Spock shook his head to Jim's probability, listening until he was finished.] As you can be an irrational being, that stands to reason. Should the occasion arise where I met your double, I shall abstain from melding with him. And if this had not been discussed before then it was not ment to have been discussed. Having said that, [Thumbs started to rub circles over Kirk's hips.] I wish to meld with you.

Kirk: [He leaned into Spock's hands, still grinning.]

Irrational, huh? I should show you irrational.

[There might have been more to that, but then Spock's thumbs were rubbing circles over his hips and Kirk breathed out a soft groan. It wasn't entirely because of the touch, though. Spock had just expressed a desire to meld with him, something he'd wanted since Delta Vega. Only this time, it would be with _his_ Spock. Possessiveness curled through him as he brushed his mouth against Spock's and murmured his approval of his desire.]

I thought you'd never ask.

Spock: [A singular brow swept up at the grin and what sounded like a threat to be shown more irrationalism than he already knew the man to have exhibited.] 

I have no doubt that would be fascinating.

[Of course it would have been regardless of the way Kirk played it out. Spock really had no idea what he meant by it though it would surely only further give him insight on the human condition. Though anything where he interacted with Jim always gave him plenty to observe and the Vulcan almost always keen to do such. So when his request was met with a positivity, any remaining uncertainty fled and filled him with a tingling warmth.]

I was merely waiting for the most opportune time. [Then Spock turned that graze into another brief kiss. Really, Jim couldn't have been so close and expected anything less when it came to a learning Vulcan. As his kiss ended, Spock slid his hands up the defined abdomen before him.] 

Yet that moment is not meant for the shower, especially as your skin only continues to redden. [He would undoubtedly need to moisturize once he was dried off.]

Kirk: [Kirk wasn't even sure what he meant by it, but if he ever acted on his threat to show Spock irrational he was almost positive it would include sparklers. Further thought on that matter was all but obliterated by Spock's kiss, though, and Jim nodded when it ended, arching ever so slightly against the hands that slid up his abdomen.]

Time to get out then? I think we've monopolized enough water.

Spock: [If that were to happen Spock genuinely wouldn't know what to think or do at the spectacle. It would be beyond fascinating, in the strangest way, and could quite possibly overload his mind. Then again, he might have been able to prepare himself if he recognized it in time. With a small hum, Spock nodded back in agreement to Jim's conclusion.]

It is and we have indeed. [There was more reluctance that hit the Vulcan at peeling his hands away from the other before he turned to switch off their shower. And while he was leaning out of the shower he grabbed a couple of towels, handing one to Jim when he turned back.]

Kirk: [Grabbing the offered towel, he unfolded it and quickly, roughly scrubbed through his hair, causing it to stick up at different angles. After another quick but thorough scrubbing over the rest of his body, he wrapped the towel around his waist, securing it in place just over his hips. The air in the bathroom was humid thanks to their shower and he stretched as he stepped out of the stall, sighing contentedly. Moving to the mirror, he snorted when he caught sight of his hair and ran his fingers through it a few times to get it to lie down at least a little.]

When are you cutting your hair?

Spock: [Before Spock used his towel he ran and squeezed his hands through his hair, trying to get most of it to run out before taking the towel to it. Once he did his hair was messier than before, mostly locks sticking together and overlapping each other. And unlike Jim, he patted himself dry prior to wrapping himself and joining Jim near the mirror. The Vulcan was sifting through his drawers—collecting a few things he would need shortly—when Kirk laughed, making him glace over to the blond with fondness, brief though it was.

He stood back up with his brush in hand, his other setting down a the other things he gathered—a hair trimmer, deodorant and lotion (his skin was in poor condition too).] It would be most convenient to do so now, after it has been brushed. While I am out of practice it should not take me more than five minutes.

Kirk: [They'd shared the sink and mirror more than once before, but it had never felt quite so intimate before. Kirk took a moment to watch Spock, noting the items he pulled out before deciding to lean over, insinuating himself into the Vulcan's personal space, and run his hands through damp locks one last time while they were still long and disheveled.]

Someday I'm going to get you to grow your hair out really long.

[Smiling, he let go, stepping back to start digging through his own drawers.]

Spock: [The way in which Jim was inching closer was neither subtle or smooth to the Vulcan. Then again neither did he mind the way his territory was being encroached on. This was much more intimate than they had been when they shared the mirror before, especially as Spock found Jim's hands in his hair to be rather fond in their touch.

And his words were just as intriguing, both of the halfling's eyebrows shooting up with the teasing shake of his head—a look that only spoke "I know something you don't" in volumes.] That day may come sooner than you anticipate, as I did not divulge the length in which I am to cut my hair.

[Of course, he couldn't let it grow out to the lengths Kirk apparently wished for while still in service. Strangely enough, the idea of letting it grow to any length longer than it was now seemed... stimulating. Whether that was for his own for Jim's liking, he didn't know. Perhaps it was both.]

Kirk: [That earned a pause and a curious look. Spock was right, of course; he hadn't divulged the length. Smirking, he turned to lean his hip against the counter, a comb in one of his hands.]

Oh? I just assumed you would go back to the style and length you had.

Spock: [While he waited for a reply, one he could only imagine being made up of surprise, Spock went back to what he was doing. It was still easy for him to see Jim, the way he paused and turned and smirked at him. He always had liked giving Kirk pause like that. 

But now he was far too occupied, though he obviously wasn't by the curl of his lips, with meticulously brushing out his hair.] A logical assumption. It is safe to say had circumstances been different, that would have likely been my course of action.

Kirk: Different circumstances as in... if I hadn't said I like it longer?

[Still smirking, he began to comb his own hair, running the teeth through damp blond-ish strands only a handful of times before deciding _good enough_ and putting the comb away. Kirk pushed off the counter to grab his own lotion, one that was lightly scented of cedar.]

Spock: [A low, thoughtful hum came from Spock then at the question, head tilted from the brushing. He didn't pause at Jim's fairly accurate estimate, though that only meant his silence could be mistaken as such.]

And had my return not has been well received as it was, yes. Still, your opinion in the matter was quite significant.

[Because frankly, Spock thought he was starting to look downright feral if it weren't for the uniform.]

Kirk: [As far as Spock looking downright feral went? Kirk was beyond okay with that. Feral worked on Spock.]

Why wouldn't your return have been well-received?

[A serious question, despite the levity of the situation. He was always concerned that Spock felt like he didn't fit in, when in fact the very opposite was true. He might not have seen it but Kirk knew the bridge crew at least was fond of him. McCoy might've even been a little attached to the 'green-blooded pointy-eared hobgoblin'. Not everyone got monikers, after all.]

Spock: I should clarify. [This wasn't about pet names or Spock worrying if he would ever fit in with the crew of the _Enterprise_. It was much more specific and personal, something he'd though all too much of on his time away.] I did not mean well-received by the crew; I meant by you, in regard to us. 

[The lull was longer that it should have been but the halfling picked up quickly.] Despite stronger thoughts, I was prepared to accept the possibility our relationship would be as it was before I left. And if that were the case, I would contentedly go about the way things were as we built our friendship. However, that is not the case. [He took a slow breath, looking down as he blinked.] I do not know what it means, to modify such a subtle and paltry aspect for you, though I have a theory. One I do not object to in the slightest.

[It was then his voice became softer—unsure—with a clearing of his throat, eyes still diverted and fingernails quietly fidgeting on the counter.] ...I must admit I am, for once, explaining myself very poorly.

[He didn't know how to say he was afraid that Jim wouldn't have wanted him, or that he developed the one thing Vulcan's didn't have a word for, or even that he didn't mind how Kirk made him believe in such a thing so robustly. Better yet, he was sure he'd said too much now. This was something humans thought strange, he knew. This was probably why Vulcans began accepting logic over emotion.]

Kirk: [So, sometimes Kirk was dense. It wasn't that he was stupid, just that true meanings behind words often escaped him. Like the fact that Spock had meant _him_ specifically and not the rest of the crew. However, he was quick to glean that as Spock spoke, and it wasn't long before he was setting the lotion aside to step back into his personal space, hands sliding up his lean torso.]

If you can't explain, do you think you could... show me?

[A tentative request. Not because he was scared, or worried. They'd already gone too far for fear of rejection. No, he was tentative because he didn't want to push Spock into something he wasn't comfortable with. Then there was an entire galaxy's worth of the self-image and self-esteem issues he harbored. He wouldn't have cared if Spock never said the three words most humans either feared or craved all throughout their lives because he'd already shown him more affection than he thought he deserved. It was almost too much affection, overwhelming and suffocating but he only wanted more... and that, he realized as he pressed still closer to Spock, was the real reason behind his tentativeness. That he could want something more than freedom and space.]

Spock: [The question was something of a heavy nature, though they had already discussed melding not long ago. Although it wasn't the idea of melding that Spock was apprehensive about, he was confident in his ability to do so. It was when to implement such a thing into their relationship since it was so powerful. He didn't want to burden Jim, either, with something he wasn't comfortable with. Regardless, Kirk had asked to be shown, and Spock nodded to the request.

Raising his hand up, he gently laid his fingers over key points on Kirk's face: his thumb under his lower lip, index beside his nose and the remaining arching from his brow to his ear. With a flood of colorful lights Spock started the exchange of thoughts. How vastly he cared for the blond, how he let himself be what felt like an entirely different person _just for Jim_. And while that was something he could never get enough of, it was also something that he greatly feared and respected as he had never encountered such a promising endeavor.

Spock showed him how he came to such reasoning: his time on New Vulcan. The unease that filled him after he left the Enterprise upon seeing the vast, seemingly wasteland with his own eyes; a sensation that never truly left him. Then there were the attacks on their people from the local fauna, some mere scrapes to moralities, and how many of those fatalities came at the dead of night. That was how he nearly expired. Spock had startled awake from one of the rare times he was getting a peaceful sleep to the sound of panicking commotion; the noise of people leaving their holdings nothing in comparison to the man screaming for his life while being torn apart by a growling monster.

He was one of the first to arrive on the scene, the man already dead. A rage filled him, their loss of life on both sides already too great due to a number of things. Three rapid shots of his phaser took out of offending monster and seconds later he was blindsided by another. The force knocked the weapon out of his hand, meters away, when suddenly all that anger left him like a breeze passing by, making way for onslaught of pain after claws ripped into his abdomen at an attempt, Spock could only rationalize, to gut him.

The scene cut to the things the halfling flashed back to while New Vulcan's limited medical unit attempted to patch him together. They were all memores of their crew, the ones he found most important. He and Bones in their lab getting along amicably, Uhura laughing and sharing stories from Earth with him, Chekov fluttering about him down the hall with a giant smile because Spock had helped him, Scotty prattling on about five different topics at once and even Sulu teaching him how to fence. 

Then there was Jim—a wholly different and much more intimate account. It was a catalogue of smiles and laughs, the crinkle of his piercing blue eyes as he did, all the unique expressions he wore and the looks he specifically gave to Spock. Mixed in were the innocent touches they shared, casual conversations they held when they weren't on duty—chess in the lounge and meals in the mess hall, even the silent nights they simply stood together on the observation deck stargazing; all associated with a warm, overwhelming feeling of security that made every inch of his person thrill with adoration.

That was the moment he knew he loved Jim, that exact thought permeating everything else. It made his chest ache painfully but in the most delicious of ways, his future self's words echoing in his head; _"A friendship that will define you both in ways you cannot yet realize... do yourself a favor: Put aside logic. Do what feels right."_. And it had almost felt right to weep in the sheer revelation of it all, yet he couldn't. And that was when true loneliness hit him, not unlike a brick wall collapsing, the thought that he could possibly fade away in hours and Jim wouldn't have known until he saw the casualty list attached to the back of their monthly report.  
It made his heart pump in agony to think he wouldn't get to say goodbye or tell him how he felt ever again, that the last bit voice of the man he cared for was heard weeks ago over a faulty connection, littered with static. _"Take care, Commander."_.

Spock cut off their connection then slowly, carefully peeling away his fingers from Jim's face. His own eyes had a glimmer to them, breathing elevated and heart the slightest bit faster. Never before had the Vulcan looked so vulnerable. The only thing he hoped now was that it wasn't too much, even though that was what he had been asked to show.]

Kirk: [He wasn't sure what to expect with this meld — if it would be like the other Spock's or completely different — and while he'd asked to be shown he felt a spike of anxiety as Spock placed his fingers on his face, aligning to the exact points as before. He closed his eyes, willing himself to relax. The first time, he hadn't known what was going on at all. Spock — the other Spock — had kind of ambushed him with the meld. In that, this meld was already different. It was slow, careful. Willing and wanted on both ends.

And with that thought he exhaled and let Spock flood into him.

He lost track of time, of his physical body as Spock relayed his care, the way he had changed. When he played back the attack, Kirk shuddered, his hand unconsciously spreading flat against Spock's abdomen, over the scars the beast had left. He hadn't known how close he'd come to losing him, and he wouldn't have even known until well after the fact! From a report, no less. What the hell would he have done? There was no time to think on that, thankfully.

 _Spock_ loved _him._

Reality ebbed back into place, and he realized his eyes were wet with tears. He ducked his head against Spock's chest, taking a moment to just breathe, to sift through the lingering emotions that clung like saran wrap. When he finally felt like he could speak without his voice breaking, he brushed his nose along Spock's collarbone and breathed out a quiet,] Ridiculous Vulcan. I love you.

Spock: [As they both eased back into reality, before Spock's fingers left Jim, he could feel how awry his emotional balance was and was more than willing to wait for however long the blond needed to recuperate, regardless if Jim took security from resting on his chest. It was only his second mind meld after all; this was still very new to him. Nonetheless, to pass the time, the halfling loosely wrapped his arms around his captain, rubbing his upper arms and shoulders.

Before Kirk had spoken up, Spock also took to resting and nuzzling his head against the one under his damp though it was. And then something euphoric with an after-burn of tranquility washed over him at the phrase. It caused him some confusion just as well. Was that what he wanted to say before? Had he been worried about saying it so instead he rambled on about his emotions? He gave his mind pause, waiting for something to ring out in disagreement but nothing did. So, he concluded, that had to have been it. 

"Ridiculous Vulcan" indeed seemed fitting. Leaning back only slightly, he maneuvered his hands to once more lift Jim's head up and to at him with warmed browns, thumbs brushing a the strong jawline. It took Spock a moment to say, his mouth ajar for a few seconds. But when he did, his voice was deep and very affectionate:] I love you as well, Jim. [The word was foreign to his tongue but it made him feel whole, resolving his last bit of disquiet. A noticeable curl even came to his lips before he pushed their foreheads and the tips of their noses together.]

Kirk: [Hearing the Vulcan's profession of love aloud made warmth bloom in his chest and he laughed, joyous, uncaring of the ridiculous grin he knew he was sporting. He slid his hands back up Spock's torso, arms linking over his shoulders, fingers delving into still unruly, long hair. He curled his fingers into the dark strands, leaning so far into Spock he was pretty much the only thing keeping Kirk upright. Even if he hadn't kept him upright and they ended up in a pile on the bathroom floor he wasn't sure he would have cared. Because _Spock loved him_.]

Spock: [Spock didn't see that grin as ridiculous as Jim thought it to been. In fact it, along with his laughter, allowed him to physically feel a pump of his heart, causing him to take in a deep, calming breath. And as always his weight was no problem to the Vulcan. Gravity on the other hand, who was in cahoots with the the few large drops of water still under his feet, thought differently. They didn't fall but they certainly lost a few inches before Spock caught them, arms tight around Kirk's midsection.

Now his legs were at odd angles but for the moment they were fine.] Jim, while I understand your elation I do not believe it is advantageous for either or both of us to end up in sickbay this evening. [No matter how much he like his hair being tugged or the way they were so comfortable being mostly unclothed. There were other places they could be where that was just as acceptable, sickbay not being one of them.]

Kirk: Yeah. Wouldn't want Bones ruining our night with his incessant lecturing.

[Getting his own feet back underneath him, he stepped back, but not before pressing a heated kiss to Spock's mouth. He savored the taste of the Vulcan on his lips for a long moment. It was a flavor he could drown in, and be perfectly happy doing so.]

I should let you get to your hair cut, before it dries.

Spock: [Spock nodded in agreement.] Certainly not, especially after he had instructed me to "take things easy". [And while everything they'd just done was easy enough to do, he keenly doubted that McCoy would have thought the same.

Kirk's impassioned kiss, however, broke any thought of them being scolded. His returning buss was just as sultry and the brunet was reluctant to let the other go when it was over, turning to the mirror and brushing out his bangs with a hand.]

A trim will not take me long.

Kirk: [A chuckle escaped Kirk at that, at the thought of McCoy's face when they ended up in sickbay, wearing only towels, on Spock's first evening back on board after he'd pointedly told him to take it easy. There was another thought immediately on the heels of that one and his eyes gleamed with mischief as he grabbed his lotion.]

Ah, right. You're supposed to be relaxing until tomorrow. I guess I should hold off on riding you like a pony, then. That seems like it might be considered strenuous activity.

[He spoke as he stepped out of the bathroom, letting the door slide shut behind him with a grin.]

Spock: [Finally Spock got to picking up the clippers on the sink, a light buzz emitting from them as it started up. He’d just raised it to his bangs when Kirk had started talking, the tone of his voice clear to those pointed and ever-attentive ears. He turned his head just in time to see the door close, brown eyes squinting slightly at that smirk.

In the four minutes it took the Vulcan to trim his hair, getting all those annoying and jagged edges back to a smooth line while keeping the length and layers Jim seemed to enjoy. By the time Spock had ventured from the bathroom to his room and then to Kirk’s again, now dressed in dark, plaid pajama bottoms with a hint of boxer-briefs underneath, his hair was only faintly damp.

Lightly clearing his throat, he addressed Jim’s earlier taunting words just a few feet from the bathroom door.] Technically speaking… sexual release, while having the capability to be strenuous, is a simple and natural relaxant. I do not believe there is any foreseeable harm or disobeying of a request in allowing you to “ride me like a pony," granted my activity is limited. After all, you are not the one with constrictions.

Kirk: [By the time Spock re-entered Jim's room, he was sitting on the edge of his bed, wearing a little less than Spock. He'd opted to put a pair of boxer-briefs on and was looking over something on his PADD with obvious amusement. When Spock spoke up, his attention shifted, and he gave the Vulcan a surprised blink before laughing softly. Spock's wit and ability to 'roll with things' would never fail to be a delightful surprise and source of enjoyment. Setting the PADD aside, he patted the empty space of bed next to himself in clear invitation.]

Your hair looks good.

[Kirk's own hair was mostly dry as well already and his skin was far less red from the heat of the water. He felt better than he had in — well, a really long time. More rejuvenated and _far_ happier.]

So, about that meld.

Spock: [The way in which Jim was composed in his room was a sight to behold, the comfort easily felt and his curiosity rising at the PaDD. Just what was on it that was so entertaining? Spock's interest faded some as Jim's attentions were turned to him, nodding to the silent invitation before he made his way over.]

Thank you. [He knew it would be a bit before the wayward clumps would fall apart and join in a semi-neat style but it was good that Jim enjoyed it in this messy state; it certainly made Spock feel eased about it.] Your skin appears to have recovered adequately. 

[Except he didn't looked eased when he finally sat beside Jim, even if he was perfectly content. He sat straight and proper, his fingers laced together as hands rested in his lap, palms up. And when the meld was brought up, the halfling raised his head as he looked to Kirk.] You have inquiries?

Kirk: [Noting the proper line of Spock's body when he sat down, Kirk shifted, half-turning so he could face the Vulcan. Lifting a hand, he casually ran it through the newly trimmed locks, fingers brushing over the tip of one pointed ear and tracing down the shell before coming to rest on his bare shoulder.]

Not an inquiry exactly so much as a request for more. If you want to, of course. I have no idea how straining a meld is... assuming it's straining at all.

[Smiling almost shyly, Kirk let his hand drop from Spock's shoulder to his chest, spreading his palm wide against the warm skin.]

Spock: [As always, Kirk's hand was just as swaying as his words, making the Vulcan tilt into the touch of his hair and savor the thrilling sensation over his ear. The straitlaced posture he had before wavered some, his mind in obvious conflict in how to present himself. He looked down to the hand on his chest, pondering for a moment before his own came up and rested over Jim's. Then without compromising the contact, Spock fluidly shifted himself on the bed.

Using just one arm as leverage and balance on the mattress he hoisted his legs up on the bed to cross over one another, only a knee hanging over the edge now and his free hand back in his lap once again. If anything now, it looked as if Spock was ready for a session of meditation but he also looked much less prim and proper.

Gently, Spock shook his head to the assumption that melds were straining.] Perhaps, in time, they can be emotionally draining. Or overstimulating, that is, for both participants. A meld is a flowing of minds and their thoughts and memories, it is not something physically strenuous unless one is unwilling to share something and it is pursued. [A slow blink found him then with a brief arch of his brow.] That is, however, against our ethical code when concerning personal melds.

Kirk: [Turning his hand, he laced their fingers together, keeping the back of his hand pressed to Spock's chest. Kirk understood without asking that this was new territory to the Vulcan. Hell, it was new territory to him as well. He'd never done the whole long-term committed relationship thing... and then there was the whole 'Captain and First Officer' thing to consider, if and how this might change their dynamic. He thought so far they were doing well, but in a situation fraught with duress and chaos, would Spock be able to follow him commands? He eyed him a moment, and decided they would be fine. It might be an adjustment (restraining himself from touching so openly on the bridge, figuring out where the lines were in this new intimacy, reining in his protective instincts) but they'd always managed to come together before.

Kirk nodded in reply to Spock's answer. He leaned in to brush a kiss along his jaw.]

Good. I just don't want to stress you out, what with the riding _and_ melding.

[That seemingly shy smile transformed into a smirk then, and Kirk sidled forward until he was straddling Spock's lap, one knee pressing into the bed, the other leg off the edge and keeping him balanced.]

Spock: [To be fair, Spock had tried the "long-term committed relationship" thing before, and with a woman; that was the only notable base difference in this scenario. Still, over all most of this was new to him. Spock had done plenty of research on the sort of relationship they would have had when there were hints of it (granted, then he was late to the idea of something being there between them) and many nights had been spent thinking over just how things would change, for better or worse, instead of sleeping.

It had been concluded things would have only been better between them, if things went successfully. They worked well together regardless no matter what the world seemed to throw at them and always seemed to come out stronger because of it. While they both broke the rules when it benefited their mission as a whole, the one thing they didn't have to worry about Starfleet harassing them about was their rank; they were both officers and this, while unconventional, was perfectly legal. Just to make sure it would never be questioned, Spock was determined to follow his Captain's orders to a T.

Personal boundaries, however, he had a feeling would be an interesting learning curve. Spock curled in on Kirk some at the kiss, a singular brow lifting to his statement before moving his hand to make room for Jim on his lap. He rather enjoyed the way the blond fit against him so well, his hands moving to rest against and feel the toned legs over his.]

I'll have you know it is very difficult to stress a Vulcan out with such things, Jim. We are very capable in both matters.

Kirk: If I didn't know any better I'd say you were bragging, Mister Spock.

[His smirk was cocky, enticing, and he looped his arms over Spock's shoulders as he dipped his head to kiss him fully on the mouth, licking his way into the delicious heat. He rolled his hips, pushing his half-hard erection against Spock's lower abdomen, then rocked down to push his ass against the Vulcan's groin. He too was enjoying the way he fit with Spock. It was an easy thing, like two pieces that were supposed to go together, complementary and _right_.]

Spock: [The Vulcan was barely able to speak before Jim sealed their lips together but he managed a mutter with a a subtly brazen look;] Perhaps this time, Captain, you do not.

[Before happily accepting those permission seeking licks. His mouth parted to let his tongue reach out and slide against Kirk's, a sharp but gentle breath filling his lungs at the feeling of the blond's arousal against him. Spock's hands drifted up Jim's legs to his sides where blunt nails drew circles over his skin only to press into it at the pleasurable friction against his own hardening length, a low moan rumbling in his chest.

Things felt so right, the halfling almost felt compelled as he reached around to grip Jim's backside. He shifted his hips just enough then that when he rolled his hips up, with his grip, he was able to rub their arousals together.]

Kirk: [A surprised, pleased thrill shot through him at Spock's muttered response to his tease, and then their tongues were sliding together and Kirk groaned. Yeah, Spock definitely had a sort of prowess when it came to both matters, even regardless of the fact that he was a lot less experienced with sex than he was. That inexperience hardly mattered when it was coupled with the passion he exuded. He let his thoughts fall to the wayside at the drag of Spock's blunt nails over his skin, breath stuttering when he reached around and gripped his ass. Then the Vulcan was shifting his hips and rolling them up to make their arousals rub together and he exhaled on another groan.]

Spock: [Strange though it was to anyone else, Spock had done plenty of research on the topic of sex and relationships once it became applicable to him. It was almost like another test he couldn't fail, having to know at least something to surprise his much more experienced partner. He had been surprised to find though that after his research many things felt almost natural to do.

They also felt amazing to do and the Vulcan slowed the roll of his hips to the point that it was absolutely teasing. To make up for it, because he knew Jim wouldn't have approved for long, Spock turned his kisses passionate before snaking a hand back over Kirk's hip to palm over the blond's erection.]

Kirk: [Spock was right; Kirk started to make a noise of protest at the slow, teasing roll of hips, but it was cut short by the way his kisses became passionate — and then the press of palm over his clothed erection, which earned a sharp buck of his own hips. He nipped Spock's bottom lip before drawing back enough to be able to speak.]

God, you're addictive.

Spock: [Of all the things he had expected, the snap of Kirk's hips against him was not one of them. It gave Spock a jolt of pleasure since they were still so close, pulling a brisk moan out of him. Even as their kiss ended, the brunets breath barely deepened, his hand kept to caressing Jim's constrained member.]

I will attempt to be nothing less to you.

Kirk: Mm. My own personal drug.

[A grin followed his words. Kirk kissed Spock again, just a quick press of lips, before trailing his attentions down his jaw and throat, teeth catching and grazing skin. They were both going to be marked up, probably for weeks, after these encounters.]

Spock: [The phrasing caught Spock off guard, long enough for Kirk to get that kiss in before his mind started turning efficiently.] One without many of the typical side effects, I assure you. 

[Another groan worked its way out of him at teeth on his skin, Spock's head leaning back to bear his neck to Kirk and give him more room. Those were marks he certainly wouldn't mind wearing. In fact he thought they were rather pleasurable, the hand still on Kirk's ass flinching when a bite or graze gave him a shiver of delight.]

Kirk: [A throaty chuckle rumbled through Kirk's chest.]

I imagine withdrawal might still be a problem.

[As Spock tilted his head back, he licked up the column of his throat, tracing over his Adam's apple with his mouth and tongue.]

Spock: [Spock's stomach twisted up, teasingly, at the deep sound of Kirk's laugh. He could feel it.]

I did say without many. [A sharp breath took him at the tongue on his neck, fingers flinching in the slightest over the attention to his Adam's apple. In appreciation, his hand went back to stroking over Jim's erection.] 

However, when on this ship I am generally not far from your side. I imagine withdrawal will not be much of an issue.

Kirk: You're so responsive. Did I say that already tonight?

[He murmured the words against Spock's skin, ducking his head lower to lave sharp collarbones with attention. The hand stroking over his still clothed erection was becoming something of a tease and he whined in his throat. Pulling away from the Vulcan enough to be able to push his boxers down, his hands fell to Spock's own pants, fingers curling in the waistband to give a demanding tug.]

Off.


End file.
